Romance RPG V1C4: Part Four

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Romance RPG

Original novel in Chinese by: 御 我 (Yu Wo)


Part Four – translated by Raylight

“That’s none of your business!” Lin Jian Yin was so furious that he started insulting her. “At least I’m still better than you, you female Taike.”

The girl’s eyes turned wide as she stared. “What did you say?”

As though trying to vent all the frustration that he had endured today, Lin Jian Yin’s sharp tongue was simply at its peak. “Look at this ghastly head of yours. Even the sixty year old granny who sells dumplings next door to my house has better looking hair than yours.”

The girl frantically stroked her hair, wanting to use her fingers to comb it smooth. However, she had only combed it through halfway when her fingers got stuck in a tangled knot of hair.

“Look at those black-framed glasses. Do you think that you are role-playing? If you want to dress up as Conan, then you’ve got to at least wear a suit and a bowtie right?” He said in a cold voice.

The girl immediately took off her glasses, and at the same time, hid the hand holding them behind her back, as though it would hide the fact that she had been wearing them just now.

When she’s not wearing glasses, her eyes are actually quite pretty. Lin Jian Yin murmured in his heart. However, with his temper, she would not pass inspection so easily. He coldly commented, “Do you think that by hiding them, everything will be fine? Then, there are quite a few things that you have to hide. What’s up with the Pikachu on your body? Did you buy that at the night market, three for a hundred yuan1, and with a complementary pair of blue and white flip-flops?”

Lin Jian Yin seemed to have hit the bull’s eye. The girl’s face flushed red, and she was so angry that she stammered a little, “S-So what? I only dress like this in my own house. If I’m going out, I won’t dress like this.”

“Hahaha, no matter what you wear when you go out, just by that head of yours, anything you put on will still be the same!” Lin Jian Yin’s eyes flicked to the girl’s head for a moment, before he shook his head, sighing as he looked away. He even purposely blinked with all his might, as though he had seen something that had injured his eyes.

“Don’t go overboard.” The girl showed true anger, eyes red as she yelled.

“I’m only saying the truth.” Lin Jian Yin didn’t shrink back in the least. If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. He wasn’t going to bother being roundabout.

The girl took in a few deep breaths, and then blinked back the tears in her eyes. She coldly retorted, “Anyways, I’m ugly. No matter how I dress up, I wouldn’t become beautiful.”

“You’re not ugly, just lazy.” Lin Jian Yin snorted from his nose. “Haven’t you heard that there are no ugly women in the world, only lazy ones? If ugly women dress up, they would still get a six out of ten.”

The girl was silent for a moment. “If a beauty doesn’t dress up, she would also get a six out of ten. When she dresses up, then she would get a ten out of ten. For an ugly woman, no matter how she dresses up, she would still only get a six out of ten. Since she still can’t compete against a beauty, then does it matter how many points she gets?”

Lin Jian Yin was a little hesitant as he replied, “You can’t say it like that…”

“Never mind. Mister Jian, are you going to tell me how this game is played or not?” The girl seemed unwilling to continue this topic anymore, so she steered the conversation back to the most important question.

Lin Jian Yin remembered the instruction booklet, and then straightforwardly replied, “I’ll marry you off to whoever you wish to marry, that’s all.”

“Marry me off?” The girl asked in some surprise.

“Right!” Lin Jian Yin impatiently thought of what he should do first right now. “That’s it! I’ll give you a name first.”

“You’ll give me a name? I can’t name myself?” The girl was a little suspicious.

Lin Jian Yin ignored the girl. What kind of logic is it for a game character to name themselves, of course I should be the one doing the naming. He had a flash of inspiration. “Then, I’ll name you Ling.” This name was rather similar to his surname, and has the meaning of starting from the very beginning. This really can’t be more fitting.

“Ling? Which Ling?” The girl asked. At the same time, she thought inside her heart. What a coincidence? In her name, she really did have a character Ling.

“Of course it’s Zero, as in zero points.” Lin Jian Yin said, looking immensely proud of himself.

If the girl was originally willing to use the name that he had given, now that he had explained as such, Zero as in zero points… The girl would rather die than use that name now. With her fist clenched tight, the girl protested loudly, “I don’t want to use Ling2 as in zero points! I-I want to be called Meng3.”

“Meng? What a clichéd name!” Lin Jian Yin impatiently retorted, “Use Ling, it’s more unique.”

“I don’t want to be treated as zero points!” Meng clarified word-by-word.

“Don’t want to be treated as zero points? Then I’ll call you a hundred points, are you satisfied?” Lin Jian Yin roared.

“What! What did you say you’ll call me?” Meng was so furious she was red in the face.

“A hundred points, hmph!” Lin Jian Yin had an urge to anger her deliberately.

It was a pity that he had forgotten that at the moment, she had him “in the palm of her hand.” With a burst of strength, Meng threw Lin Jian Yin to the side of the wall, and a clear sound of metal clashing rang out. Lin Jian Yin was in so much pain that he winced twice, and he was about to start cursing her again.

Two loud knocks on the door rang out, accompanied by a polite inquiry, “May I ask if anyone is at home?”

The person and the sword inside were both stunned at the same time. They had just realized at this moment that the two of them were actually inside a house. Surrounding them were all wooden products, and even the house was made of wood. The layout of the house was rather simple. A single bed covered by a quilt, a log table, a wooden chair, and on the table there was even a large bundle. It was just that… Were they really here just now?

“Did the scene change? Were we here just now?” Meng looked blank.

“Just now… I was too busy scolding you, so I didn’t notice.”

Lin Jian Yin too didn’t know what kind of place they had been in just now. Hearing this reply, Meng couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him.

“May I ask if anyone is at home?”

Meng hesitated for a moment, but she still walked to the door and pulled the creaking door open. Standing outside was a young man dressed as an attendant. He politely nodded his head at Meng and asked, “May I ask if you are Miss A Hundred Points, Hmph?”

“…” Meng’s head went blank for an instant, before she asked, “You said Miss what?”

The young attendant repeated it once more, “Miss A Hundred Points, Hmph.”

Meng had a sudden feeling that something was not right. She frantically shouted, “I’m not Miss A Hundred Points, Hmph or anything. You got the wrong place!”

Shock was written on the attendant’s face, and then he took a step back. He stared at the side of the door doubtfully as he said, “But, this is the Hmph house alright.”

Meng poked her head out of the door, and upon looking, saw a big doorplate with “Hmph” written on it hung by the side of the door.

“Hahahaha, who told you to refuse to use Ling. Now it has become… Haha, Miss ‘A Hundred Points, Hmph,’ pffttt!” Lin Jian Yin lay in the corner, laughing out loud. He was very happy to find out that the girl who had flung him into the corner had her name changed to A Hundred Points.

Meng expressionlessly pulled her head back in. Then, in a monotonous voice, she asked the innocent attendant, “I am A Hundred Points, Hmph. Why are you looking for me?”

The attendant took out a golden piece of paper from a large sack, and then politely passed it over to Meng’s hands. “I am here to deliver your invitation letter. The king at the castle has invited every girl from ages eighteen to twenty-five to attend the ball that was arranged especially for the prince. The date, time, and a map of the castle are all inside the invitation.”

“Got it.” Meng took the invitation, and then mercilessly slammed the door shut.

Lin Jian Yin was still in bursts of laughter at this point, completely unaware of the disaster that was about to befall him. Meng turned around, showing a faint smile. Only, for some reason, this faint smile seemed to have something dark concealed within it. It looked even scarier than a frown or a glare.

“Since you have already given me a name, then I should also help my cute sword by giving it an awe-inspiring name, right?” Meng walked step-by-step toward Lin Jian Yin, who was in the corner.

“Since I’m not a precious sword, there isn’t a need to give me a name, is there?” Lin Jian Yin suddenly felt uneasy. He didn’t think in the least bit that the girl who had been named A Hundred Points, Hmph by him would give him a good name.

“Don’t worry, I will give you the most awe-inspiring name.”

Meng walked right in front of him, smiling radiantly. Her smile was so radiant that it was kind of scary. Lin Jian Yin couldn’t help but struggle a bit, wanting to leave this terrifying smile. However, he too knew that he wouldn’t be able to escape this one, and could only ask while he trembled, “Y-You, what name are you giving me?”

Footnotes

1 “A hundred yuan”: This is Taiwanese dollars. It’s about US $3.40.

2 “Lin, Ling, and Ling”: The Lin in Lin Jian Yin’s name is 林, which means forest. The Ling in the girl’s name is 靈, which means spirit/spiritual. It’s what she thought he was going to name her. The Ling that he wanted to name her is 零, which means Zero. They’re all written with different characters, but the second two are pronounced exactly the same.

3 “Meng”: 夢 means “dream.”

9 Responses

  1. Adrimiz7

    You get what you deserve, sword. i really want to see what she does to him more than what she names him. Although, it seems as though she’s in a similar predicament as him. A person from the outside as well, perhaps??

  2. AkaiiRia

    Hahahaha ! I couldn’t stop laughing the whole time I was reading this part !

    “I am here to deliver your invitation letter. The king at the castle has invited every girl from ages eighteen to twenty-five to attend the ball that was arranged especially for the prince. The date, time, and a map of the castle are all inside the invitation.”

    So in other words Miss “A Hundred Points Hmph” the taike is actually Cinderella, and Lin Jian Yin is the unlucky sharp-tongued fairy god mother ? xD

  3. I know there’s a word pronounced “meng” that’s a colloquial way of saying “cute,” but is it the same word as 夢? o.o?

    orz “A Hundred Points Hmph” is really a horrible name… At least “Zero” sounds very cool! Remember! Remember! “Love is Zero!” (Haha! More Detective Conan references! It only took Shinichi 620+ episodes or 700+ chapters to finally confess!)

    D= I forgot this was a “Romance RPG”! I thought Ling (I’m going to call her Ling!) would be playing some sort of RPG which required her to slay monsters with a sharp-tongued sword. Um… Maybe there’s a lot of monsters on the way to the castle?

  4. Dear sword with additional eye and mouth, im sorry i forgot your name, now that i know you have the power to male ridiculous name i shall not forget it again!

  5. Jennifer

    … Yu Wo has come up with a lot of strange names, but I think A Hundred Points, Hmph deserves some kind of prize…
    Doesn’t it feel like all of Yu Wo’s characters have unbelievable luck? Of course, it’s generally unbelievably BAD luck, and when it’s actualy good, it’s generally paired with a dismally bad sense of direction. Then again, poor Carol in FW seems to have both…

  6. Heh, serves him right!

  7. Thank you for the chapter!!

  8. So is this how a mean sharp tongue character could ever get along with anybody?

  9. ” But, this is the Hmph house alright”
    someone good at drawing please, please, a cute drawing of a house in the classic ‘hmph! pose with crossed arms

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