½ Prince Side Stories Part 3: Meat Floss Bun (April Fool’s)

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Meat floss buns
Meat floss buns
One a penny
Two a penny
Meat floss buns

Give them to your daughters
Give them to your sons
One a penny
Two a penny
Meat floss buns!

A long-haired man at the hawker stall sang those verses with a surprisingly clear and sonorous voice that pierced through the cheerful banter of the tourists donning colorful apparel as they milled about. His booth was but one of many, each offering their own unique appeal, whether it be appetizing foodstuffs, minigames with cute prizes, or engaging performances for all ages. This was Infinite City’s first annual festival celebrating its inception and Odd Squad had spared no expense or effort to make it the most extravagant event in the world of Second Life. While the rest of the squad was busy making sure the festivities were running smoothly and that the city was still safe from any hidden threats, one member was conspicuously absent from their duties…

Prince, donning a pair of oversized sunglasses and a totally-not-suspicious cowboy hat wandered cheerfully from stall to stall. “So many snacks, delicious morsels from every cuisine all around! Which one should I try next?” muttered the incognito leader turned runaway eater. At that moment, a peculiar stall-owner’s melodic song wafted into Prince’s ears, which subconsciously prickled at the words “meat” and “bun”. Like a rat to a piper’s tune, his feet carried him naturally to a fancy red booth.

“Meat floss buns! Soft and sweet buns, light yet savory strands of pork, a marriage of flavors blessed by the heavens! How many pieces would you like, mister?” The shopkeeper asked cheerfully, his face obscured by long strands of golden-brown locks. Prince paid the stall owner’s appearance with little mind, and instead stared with mouth half-open at the this unusual variety of meat buns. The buns were twisted around like braids of hair, with fluffy pork floss, chopped scallions, and white sesame sprinkled across. Is this still considered a meat bun? As the “mama” to my dear meatbun, it wouldn’t be considered child abuse for me to eat this, right?

“Where did that rapscallion Prince run off to? His shift still hasn’t ended yet! If he’s shirking his duty as the gatekeeper for the vendors to satisfy his stomach then he’ll be getting an earful from me soon enough!” Yulian-dàsăo’s angry voice was still distant, but gradually got louder along with a pattering of footsteps. Pressed by time and too tempted by the innovative snack in front of him to reconsider, Prince held up two fingers, making a quick transaction before disappearing into the crowd, away from the impending danger of a fiery lecture. Moments later, Yulian-dàsăo approached the spot where the meat floss bun stall once stood, but nothing was there. She rubbed her eyes, wondering if her eyes were playing tricks on her. She could have shown she had saw Prince talking to a life-sized… No, that couldn’t be, could it?

That night, Prince tossed and turned in his sleep. The pleasant aromas of the two meat floss buns still lingered fresh in his mind. Out of nowhere, a familiar deep voice suddenly sounded out. “Thank you for accepting my dowry. On which auspicious date should we set the wedding?”

Prince shook himself wide awake, but there was nobody around. What was going on? Wasn’t that the sound of the shopkeeper at the festival? How could he be in my bedchambers right now?

“How about March 1st? That’s National Pi–” the voice continued but Prince couldn’t help but interrupt.

“Who are you? Where are you? What do you want from me?”

“You don’t remember? I’m your future son-in-law! You agreed earlier to give me your daughter’s hand in marriage and even accepted my dowry! Is my proposed date too soon? Would one month later work out better you think?” Out of nowhere, the shopkeeper appeared with a poof, but this time his long curly hair was combed neatly to the sides and his face was revealed to be that of a… pig??

The words of the shopkeeper from earlier echoed back in Prince’s mind. Soft and sweet buns… strands of pork… a marriage blessed by the heavens… Oh! What have I done? I’m so sorry, meatbun! I’m so sorry, Phoenix! Finally hit by the gravity of the situation and the consequences of his rash actions, Prince immediately fainted.

The light of the morning sun shone warmly into Prince’s bedchambers, and groggily he woke up. What a crazy dream that was! At that moment, two little voices, clear and sonorous, cried out, “Grandmama, you’re awake! We brought you breakfast in bed! It’s your favorite meat floss buns1!”


  • 2/3 cup heavy cream (160 ml, at room temperature)
  • 1 cup milk (235 ml, at room temperature)
  • 1 large egg (at room temperature)
  • 1/3 cup sugar (70g)
  • 1/2 cup cake flour (70g)
  • 3 1/2 cups bread flour (500g)
  • 1 tablespoon active dry yeast (11g)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 4 ounces pork sung (also called pork floss, 115g)
  • 3 scallions (washed, dried, and finely chopped)
  • Egg wash (whisk together 1 egg with 1 teaspoon water)
  • 1 tablespoon toasted sesame seeds
  • 2 teaspoons sugar (dissolved in 2 teaspoons hot water to make a simple syrup)


  1. In the bowl of a mixer, add the heavy cream, milk, egg, sugar, cake flour, bread flour, yeast, and salt (add everything to the mixer in that order). Using the dough hook attachment, turn on the mixer to “stir.” Let it go for 15 minutes, occasionally stopping the mixer to push the dough together.
  2. After 15 minutes, the dough is ready for proofing. Cover the bowl with a damp towel and place in a warm spot for 1 hour. The dough will grow to 1.5X its original size. Check out our original milk bread recipe for photos of this process!
  3. After the hour of proofing, put the dough back in the mixer and stir for another 5 minutes to get rid of air bubbles. Dump the dough on a lightly floured surface and cut into 12 equal pieces. Cover the dough pieces with a dry cloth while assembling the buns.
  4. Take each piece of dough and roll it out into a rough 4×6″ rectangle. Spread a very thin layer of mayonnaise onto the dough, and then sprinkle with pork sung and chopped scallion. Roll it up lengthwise into a tight cigar shape. Cut the cigar in half lengthwise, with about an inch on one end still attached, so that the piece of dough almost looks like a pair of pants. Twist the dough together, with the cut sides facing up, and tuck the ends underneath the bun. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet, and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Repeat the process until all the buns are assembled.
  5. Cover the buns with a clean, dry kitchen towel, and allow to rise for another hour. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Before baking, brush each bun with egg wash. Bake for 13 – 15 minutes, until golden brown. After baking, remove the buns from the oven and immediately brush each bun lightly with simple syrup. This is what gives these pork sung buns their signature shine!


1. Recipe courtesy of https://thewoksoflife.com/pork-sung-buns/

Big and Little Sun Go Go 27: Blueberry Clafoutis (April Fool’s)

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“Side quest triggered: Choose between guns or concealable weapons.”

Although Charles tried to explain the virtues of guns, Grisia and Elaro were not convinced.

Grisia had pretended not to know Elaro’s proficiency with concealable weapons, but he understood that it was extensive. If he had suggested his student seek out Leaf instead Metal, he might have given the idea of using a gun a chance, but he had not.

Elaro reasoned, “If we get a gun, we will eventually run out of bullets, but stealth weaponry can be retrieved and reused. In addition, the side quest says we can defeat ten enemies armed with guns, which seems more certain than shooting ten enemies at a distance and possibly missing their vital organs.”

Charles nodded, still regretful, but accepting this statement.

“Side quest completed: Choose between guns or concealable weapons!”

Grisia’s stomach growled.

“Side quest updated: To be able to enjoy dessert during the apocalypse is such a blessing!

It’s even better to eat something strange, yet still familiar. Please make a clafoutis with player Grisia’s favorite fruit.”

“Teacher’s favorite fruit is blueberry, but what is clafoutis?” asked Elaro.

Charles immediately replied, “Clafoutis is a French baked dessert with berries cooked in a custard-like batter. It’s good we picked up that portable toaster oven at the supermarket.”

They took out the toaster oven and started to assemble the ingredients.

Charles looked at their supplies in regret, “We don’t have fresh blueberries, so we will need to use dried ones instead. We will also need to use powdered eggs and milk, this will have to do.”

Editor’s note: This light dessert can also be enjoyed as a sweet breakfast dish. While Grisia may enjoy blueberries, you can add any fruit you like. If you are in an apocalypse and only have access to dried fruits, you can soak them the same night you make the batter in an liquor made from the same type of fruit (i.e. dried apricots soaked in abricotine).


  • 1/2 Cup of Blueberries (95 g)
  • 5 1/2 Tablespoons of Melted Butter (78 g)
  • 2 Eggs
  • 5 Tablespoons of White Sugar (62 g)
  • Pinch of Salt
  • 1/2 Cup of Milk (118 ml)
  • 1/4 Cup and 3 Tablespoons of Flour (60 g)
  • 1/2 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
  • 1/2 Teaspoon of Mahlab or 1/4 Teaspoon of Almond Extract
  • Powdered Sugar or Vanilla Sauce for Serving.

  1. The night before whisk together the butter, eggs, sugar, salt, milk, flour, vanilla and mahlab or almond extract and refrigerate. If you are using dried fruit, this is the time to start soaking them.
  2. The day of preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F.
  3. Grease something the size of a small pie pan, normal bread loaf pan or small cake pan with butter. Pour the refrigerated mixture inside and drop the blueberries in.
  4. Put it in the oven and let it cook for around 45 minutes or until puffed and brown. Check it around the 20 minute mark in case your oven is different or it is cooking faster.
  5. Let it deflate and then enjoy. You can serve it with vanilla sauce or powdered sugar.

GOD V4Prologue: Shooting Star Bread (April Fool’s)

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“What bountiful spoils of war! Not only did my guide escape the curse, but was even able to snatch away a Sinner of Existence!” Saiximili exclaimed, looking immensely pleased as he examined Philo who was currently lying at his feet, still wearing the Stone of Lethargy around his neck. He had originally thought that he would soon be out of a job, but unexpectedly he was given a salary increase instead?

“Bountiful my ass!” Shooting Star growled with a sinister expression. “I was this close, just this tiny bit away from incurring the jealousy of the heavens and being paid an early visit from the Grim Reaper! Yet look at you, you useless, so-called starseer, still celebrating over there like an idiot!”

Alan had a puzzled look. Is it even possible to simultaneously be “incurring the jealousy of the heavens” while also “being paid an early visit from the Grim Reaper”?

“Of course this is worthy of celebration!” Saiximili had a smug knowing look as he explained. “Think about it. There’s only a total of seven sinners, and you already have two of them on your side. If the enemy wants to eliminate you, they would at least need to command three of them to have a chance at succeeding. If you were to kill off one of their sinners, that would greatly reduce their chances of finding three more sinners to go against you!”

Only then did Shooting Star’s face showed that he finally understood the significance of this moment.

“H-hold on, who did you say you planned to kill off?” Bai Saya who had collapsed on the ground after returning to White Feather due to over-expending the power of the stone yet again, and even had no energy to properly place down the two people he was carrying suddenly interrupted. He had promptly lifted his head as soon as he heard the word “kill”, revealing a panicked expression as he butted into Saiximili and Shooting Star’s dangerous conversation.

“Of course it’s the Sinner of Existence! No matter if its the Guide of Existence, the Sinners of Existence, and most importantly, the Starseer of Existence, they are all undeniably our eternal enemies unto death! Killing them off is the easiest solution, though for the Sinners of Existence, it may be possible to spare them if we perform that ritual on them…”

“Ritual? What ritual?” Bai Saya asked anxiously. Any potential method that may spare Philo from being a casualty in this war that they had all unwittingly been dragged into would be worth considering.

“Well, according to my visions, there’s a slim chance of breaking the bond between a sinner and their guide, but it’s not an easy procedure. The best case scenario would be that the sinner gets converted to our side, but it’s far more likely that the sinner would go berserk, rampaging like a mindless animal until they are put down. It’s possible that they would even detonate all their power at once, directly destroying everything around them within the radius of a large city.”

“Philo is our friend and companion; we cannot simply give up on him without trying! Don’t you think so, Shooting Star?” Bai Saya shone again with righteousness, a pleading yet insistent look plastered on his face as he gazed at his companions.

It was instead Dan who first spoke up. “Saya, this is much too dangerous. Philo may be a friend, but we can’t risk all of our lives to save him. And as a knight sworn to protect others, losing his dignity would be a worse fate than death. He would not want to leave such a legacy behind.” Dan cunningly gave a seemingly logical reason on behalf of Philo to not save said person, perfectly masking his actual intentions of not risking putting Saya into harm’s way.

“Saimi, at least tell us more about the method and if there’s any way to mitigate the risks.” Bai Saya insisted with increasing desperation, seeing the nonverbal cues that his party is hesitant to support him in his plans.

“To release a sinner from the knots of fate tying him to his faction, the other side’s guide must brand the sinner with their own mark from within as well as to himself. The effect is increased if the guide also applies this mark to any of his own sinners at the same time. As long as the other side can quell the power released by the opposing sinner without harming his mind throughout the duration of the ritual, then the sinner would be freed from his original fate and would no longer be able to support his original faction.”

“What is this mark of the guide that you speak of? And what does it mean to apply the mark ‘from within’?” Shooting Star asked with suspicion. He definitely did not want to expose his own demonic emblem, and wasn’t sure if that was what Saiximili was referring to. If Saiximili knew about his demonic emblem and exposed his identity, that would really spell a big problem for him!

“The mark can simply be anything created by and symbolizes the identity of the guide. Applying the mark from within, well that just means the mark needs to be ingested by all its participants. For you, Shooting Star, luckily I have just the thing.” Saiximili started jotting down a set of instructions, and after a few minutes, tossed a scroll with his notes at Shooting Star.

“What is this?” Shooting Star inquired intriguingly and secretly sighed in relief seeing that this has nothing to do with his demonic emblem.

“It’s from King Arthur1. They’re really good, and it should be easy enough to pull off, even for a novice like you. Just follow the recipe and you’ll end up with a beautiful Shooting Star Bread.”

Shooting Star widened his eyes. This looked so good, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to even share any with his companions, ritual be damned.



2 cups (241g) Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
1/4 cup (46g) potato flour or 1/2 cup (46g) dried potato flakes2
1/4 cup (28g) Baker’s Special Dry Milk or nonfat dry milk
3/4 cup + 2 to 4 tablespoons (198g to 227g) lukewarm water, enough to make a soft, smooth dough
4 tablespoons (57g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons instant yeast
2 tablespoons (25g) sugar
1 teaspoon (6g) salt


6-8 tablespoons of apple butter3
1/4 cup (50g) brown sugar to taste


  1. Weigh your flour; or measure it by gently spooning it into a cup, then sweeping off any excess.
  2. Next, sift the flour, potato flour, and dry milk through a strainer; this is an important step to prevent lumps in the dough. (If you’re using instant mashed potatoes rather than potato flour you can skip this sifting step.)
  3. To make the dough: Combine all of the dough ingredients and mix and knead — by hand, mixer, or bread machine — to make a soft, smooth dough.
  4. Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover, and let it rise for 60 minutes, until it’s nearly doubled in bulk. 
  5. To shape the loaf: Divide the dough into four equal pieces. Shape each piece into a ball, cover the balls, and allow them to rest for 15 minutes.
  6. On a lightly greased or floured work surface, roll one piece of dough into a 10″ circle. Place the circle on a piece of parchment, evenly spread with 1/3 of the apple butter and sugar, leaving 1/4″ of bare dough around the perimeter.
  7. Roll out a second circle the same size as the first, and place it on top of the filling-covered circle. Repeat the layering process while leaving the top circle bare.
  8. Place a 2 1/2″ to 3″ round cutter in the center of the dough circle as a guide. With a bench knife or sharp knife, cut the circle into 16 equal strips, from the cutter to the edge, through all the layers.
  9. Using two hands, pick up two adjacent strips and twist them away from each other twice so that the top side is facing up again. Repeat with the remaining strips of dough so that you end up with eight pairs of strips.
  10. Pinch the pairs of strips together to create a star-like shape with eight points. Remove the cutter.
  11. Transfer the star on the parchment to a baking sheet. Cover the star and let it rise until it becomes noticeably puffy, about 45 minutes.
  12. While the star is rising, preheat the oven to 400°F.
  13. Brush the star with a thin coat of the beaten egg. Bake it for 12 to 15 minutes, until it’s nicely golden with dark brown streaks; the center should register 200°F on a digital thermometer.
  14. Remove the loaf from the oven and allow it to cool for about 10 minutes before serving. Dust with confectioners’ sugar and serve warm or at room temperature.
  15. Store any leftover bread, well wrapped in plastic, at room temperature for several days. Freeze for longer storage. To reheat bread for serving, place it on a baking sheet and tent it loosely with aluminum foil. Place in a preheated 350°F oven, and warm for about 15 minutes, or until it’s as hot as you like.
Why are there four pieces of dough here?
Spread the apple butter evenly onto the dough.
Don’t worry if your dough is not perfectly circular.
If the dough feels too wet, feel free to sprinkle more flour onto it until it becomes more manageable.
If the color at the top is not to your satisfaction after baking, consider using the broiler function to give it a bit more visual contrast.
It may not look perfect, especially the first few times you attempt it, but should still taste good enough to have you craving more!


1. Original recipe taken from https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/cinnamon-star-bread-recipe with adaptations.

2. You can substitute with cornstarch on a 1:1 ratio if you don’t have any potato flour/starch.

3. A shortcut to making apple butter is to start with unsweetened apple sauce and cooking it down with cinnamon and other warm spices.

No Hero V8C5: Red Balloons (April Fool’s)

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No Hero Volume 8: The End, the Beginning, Part Two

Original novel in Chinese by: 御我(Yu Wo)

The Beginning NO.5: Red Balloons—translated by Taffygirl13

“An Te Qi reported that he found something critical.”

That damn Bai Lian Yue just kept staring at me with a dubious expression on his face, not caring at all about what I was saying. It was as if he was still wondering if I really was the Sun Emperor or not.

“If you keep staring at me with that suspecting look, I’ll—”

Bai Lian Yue raised his chin. “You’ll what? Have Dark Sun kill me?”

Dark Sun… I roared in anger, “What are you blabbing about? Even if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t make Ah Ye do it. I’ll call the adjudication squad in here right now and have them completely dismember you!”

“So merciless yet so doting to Ah Ye. You really are Ah Yan.” Bai Lian Yue let out a sigh of relief.

“…” I pushed the telecommunications button on my desk, but another hand immediately covered it.

“Alright! I won’t fool around anymore. Ah Ye’s matters are most important. Go ahead and tell me, what exactly is this critical finding that would even make you want Ah Ye to clash with the Church? Such a thing is beyond inconceivable!”

I pushed Bai Lian Yue’s hand away and calmly elaborated, “Dark Sun’s microchip has an eternal command that forces him to always protect me. Even if it requires him to sacrifice his own life, he will do so without hesitation.”

Bai Lian Yue stared at me blankly. “Isn’t that something we were aware of since a long time ago?”

“But I will eventually have to die.”

“What nonsense are you saying?” Bai Lian Yue’s eyebrows furrowed as he said, “You are only in your thirties, why are you talking about death? Everyone’s expected life span is past 120 nowadays, and Ah Ye is only ten years younger than you. You two brothers are—”

“Ah Ye can live up to thousands of years.”

Bai Lian Yue was shocked as he asked in disbelief, “Really?”

“I don’t have the spare time to tell you lies!”

Kyle would never ask such pointless questions! But he would spout more nonsense to try and stop me. Really, neither of these secretaries is perfect!

I pulled the topic back. “If I, his target of protection, dies, what do you think would happen to Ah Ye?”

“What would happen?”

“I don’t know. An Te Qi conducted various tests, and each result was different. The only similarity they shared was that—”

When I recalled Ah Ye’s “results”, I had to take a few deep breaths before I could continue. “None ended well.”

Bai Lian Yue understood. “So, you need Ah Ye to protect you without using his life? Is that possible?”

“It wasn’t, up until a few days ago.”

Bai Lian Yue happily exclaimed, “That’s great then! From now on, you no longer have to worry about Ah Ye getting injured for the sake of protecting you.”

Do you really care? You’re probably just acting happy. I looked at him with a smile that did not reach my eyes as I said, “The fix is very simple. The difficult part is that there is no way of truly confirming if it really was fixed. No matter what happens, Ah Ye will always act if I am in danger, regardless of whether or not that damned microchip is in his brain.”

“Having a young brother like Ah Ye really must make you feel both proud and worried.”

Both proud and worried. These few words really do describe everything. Ah Ye, what are you doing right now? I hope you’re working on your modelling job rather than being a hero.

Ah Ye, oh Ah Ye. I’m proud of you for being a hero, yet I also hate that you are a hero. Do you understand?

I stood on the street and watched the car turn to immediately leave. This time, there was no opportunity to secretly jump into the car. Since the young master was in a great rush, he had personally decided to drive, and Ezart naturally had no way to help me open the trunk from the front seat.

What should I do now? Race up to the rooftops and charge forwards…No, the distance is too great. Even if my speed passing through the rooftops was as fast as the cars on the streets below, I was afraid I would not be able to maintain it for as long as cars could. Moreover, if I did manage to successfully endure until the end, I would likely not have any more strength to do much else afterwards.

As a result, I called Curtis to request his fastest car. While I felt that pompously using the main leader of the Endelis family as a butler was a behavior that truly could not be more inappropriate, I was still grateful that Curtis was in Daystar City to help me resolve so many issues.

“Understood, Family Head. The car will arrive immediately.”

“I apologize for the trouble.”

“It is no trouble at all.”

Soon afterwards, a car came to a sharp stop before me. The car was entirely black on the outside, and there were also black screens stuck onto the windows to block the sun. The car was slightly longer than a typical car. Overall, it did not have the appearance of a domestic vehicle, however, it was not overly eye-catching either, especially seeing as I had noticed a large number of luxury vehicles speeding on the roads here during my past few days at Daystar City. A slightly longer black car would not be sufficient to draw attention.

While Sunset City did not have so many valuable cars, I believed that it was because Sunset City had too many brawls that would result in the cars getting scraped or hit by stray bullets. Maintaining a car’s glossy exterior would be much too difficult. A luxury car in particular would be the first thing to get attacked in Sunset City.

The other party walked out of the car, seemingly in an attempt to open the door for me. However, since time was pressed, I had long since entered the car. He paused for a moment before sitting back in the driver’s seat and turning to inquire, “May I ask where you would like to go, Family Head?”

“Dong Fang Lei?” I stared at the other person in slight astonishment.

“Yes. What is your command?” His eyebrows and gaze were collected and displayed a great amount of respect. The obvious enmity from before had vanished without a trace—or at the very least, had been concealed very well.

“Go to the hotel the young master is residing at—”

Mid-sentence, I began to wonder if this person knew which hotel it was. However, Dong Fang Lei instantly responded, “Understood.”

Seeing as he expressed no confusion and immediately started the engine, I decided that there was no need to explain further. He pressed down on the accelerator and charged straight out, forcing my body against the back of the seat.

Fortunately, having experienced the driving skills of DSII, the young master, and Melody, I no longer minded the driving style comprised of astonishing speed and thrilling evasive maneuvers.

I was slightly anxious about the young master’s situation. However, I could only sit here in the car and wait. The atmosphere was heavy for unknown reasons as well. I’m afraid that Dong Fang Lei still disapproves of me. Yet he can drive without a word, while I have nothing to do. After thinking over this for a moment, I decided to make a call.

“Curtis, why did you send over your personal butler?” The moment I spoke, I realized that the frequency of calls I made seemed to increase daily, just as much as the calls I received.

Curtis answered in a matter-of-fact tone, “It is because you requested the ‘fastest’. This specially modified car in addition to Dong Fang Lei as the driver is the only way to conform to your request. Is the speed to your satisfaction, Family Head?”

I was at a loss for words. It seems like I must only say “very fast”, rather than “fastest” in the future. Otherwise, I may one day accidentally request for the “fastest plane” and something unimaginable could appear.

“I have truly inconvenienced you.”

“It is not a problem. I hope that you are not frightened by Dong Fang Lei’s driving style. With Daystar City’s traffic situation, using such a method is the fastest method.”

I did not mind the driving style. On the other hand, Curtis sounded quite delighted. It was as Sadina had said; he truly possessed the enthusiasm to serve. Perhaps I did not need to worry about troubling him after all and should give Curtis more orders instead. This would allow him to feel more like a butler.

“Family Head?”

“He drives very well.” I spoke honestly. He undoubtedly drove quickly enough. Moreover, his speed and evasive technique was already extremely stable. While there was still a disparity compared to Nitewalker, I believed that comparing Dong Fang Lei to a non-human species that could control water on the pavement while driving was much too unfair.

“In that case, I will leave Dong Fang Lei by your side for the time being.”


“You will likely often require a car in this time. Considering your personality, Family Head, I do not believe you would drive quickly.”

“…I understand.” I had absolutely no way to refute this point.

“Dong Fang can help you handle many matters. Please do not hesitate to give him your orders, especially when it comes to combat—”

Suddenly, a loud sound came from nowhere as the car violently swerved. Just as I was feeling astonishment that Dong Fang Lei drove even more wildly than Melody did, one side of the car left the ground—Something is wrong!

I twisted my body and crossed the space between the front seat and the driver’s seat. My left hand caught hold of Dong Fang Lei while my blood ability burst out from my right hand to block the shattered fragments of the windshield. Then, I passed through it to exit the car. At that moment, the vehicle was already flipping through the air.

With x-speed, everything slowed down, just as it did in films. I had faintly felt this in the past, but as I grew more used to x-speed, the time around me seemed to flow even more slowly.

A huge television wall was before me, one of the few in Daystar City that was currently running advertisements. Although I was currently flying through the air, I could vaguely make out the image of a peaceful looking island in the commercial, and some sort of Getaway Package you could purchase to live on that island.

Unable to easily change my direction, I let myself continue to fly at the television wall, intent on landing on it. However, when my feet touched upon the television, to my surprise, I sank right through it!

I landed on soft sand after I fell through the television, with a feeling that this had happened to me before. Is this truly a skill of vampires I have not heard about?

With such a skill available to me, I was truly the perfect assassin. In the current age, nearly everyone had access to a television, whether it sat in their living room or whether it stretched across the walls of buildings everywhere around the city. If I could travel via televisions and jump through television sets at my target…

Wait, I am not trying to enact a horror movie here!

Horror movies were not very to my liking. I enjoyed movies about heroes a lot more.

In any case, I needed to get to the young master’s side. That meant I had to ascertain my location first. I was definitely no longer in Daystar City.

However, despite not knowing where I was, the scenery looked familiar.

Is this not the island I just saw on the television?

It made some sense that I had landed here, as the commercial was what had been playing on the television. From what little I had seen of the commercial, the island had been described as part of a Getaway Package. The island did appear to be quite peaceful, a lovely location for a vacation, but it was nowhere I wanted to be.

Perhaps in the past, I would have wished to seclude myself in an ancient castle or on a peaceful, uninhabited island such as this one, but what I wished for the most at the moment was to be by the side of my young master. It did not matter if it meant staying in Daystar City where non-humans were unwelcome, or throwing myself into a fight and embracing the fact that I was the perfect assassin.

I looked behind me at the ocean that stretched far into the horizon, then back toward the island. Unfortunately, I could not swim all the way back to Daystar City, nor could I fly there. My only way back would be to head inland to see if I could find transportation.

Just as I stepped forward, my foot ran into something. I looked down and saw that it was a clear, glass bottle. I bent down and picked it up. There was a card inside the bottle.

Could this be an SOS like what I see in movies?

I opened the bottle and pulled out the card. It had an acorn on the back. On the other side… It was a DIY recipe for a juicy-apple TV.

My eyes widened as I read the recipe. Based off of what it says on this card, I just need ten apples and two iron nuggets to build this TV?

While I knew in my head that televisions were not so easily built, if I truly could build a television with only apples and iron nuggets, then I could use the new vampire skill I discovered of traveling through televisions to return to Daystar City!

I spun around, spotting apples growing on trees in the distance. I immediately used x-speed and flew toward the apples at my top speed, hand reaching out to pluck the three apples off the tree.

This isn’t enough at all!

There were unfortunately only two apple trees, and for some reason, there were only three apples on the other tree as well. I followed a path marked by intricately planted flowers to look for more apple trees. I still needed four more apples.

It was then that I heard talking further down the path and noticed the four people walking inland. In the front was a woman with a classical beauty, and behind her were two young men who were huddled over a phone, and a man with blond hair who looked very similar to one of the young men. They must be related.

Although I had found apples, I did not know where I could find iron nuggets for this DIY recipe, nor where I could find a workbench to make this television. While I did not wish to talk with anyone and delay my return to the young master, I weighed the benefits of asking and decided that it would be faster to ask than to search on my own. I was no explorer, unlike Ezart.

Mind made up, I slide stepped in their direction and made no effort to hide my presence. But even so, my presence should not be so easily discoverable. The young blond man abruptly whirled in my direction, eyes wary, one hand raised in front of him with two fingers pressed together. The older blond was also in a battle ready stance, but neither of them held any weapons.

Could they have modifications on their body?

The other young man suddenly blurted, “House Keeper? Why are you here? Did you come with Yu Shu?”

I did not know how he knew that I was a butler, but the fact that he knew instantly made me wary. It could very well mean that he had connections with the Church or the Sun Emperor.

“No wait,” he continued, eyes widening. He quickly covered his right eye and gasped. “Since when did you come true? Oh no, Yu Shu is going to kill me!”

“I do not know this Yu Shu you speak of,” I said, confused.

“You don’t know Yu Shu?” he rambled. “Did you lose your memory…”

Once again, the young man paused, and his eyes seemed to widen even more. “Charles? Are you actually Charles?”

He even knows my name!

He turned to the young blond and asked in worry, “Do illusory familiars lose their memories when they come true?”

Unable to wait any longer, I held out the card I had picked up and said, “I need to build this television to get off of this island.”

The woman spoke up and said, “What a lucky find! That recipe is usually only given out by Tom Nook. You are lucky to get it so quickly after joining us on this island.”

The woman was suspiciously knowledgeable. “Can you tell me where I can find iron nuggets and where I can build this television?”

“Why in the world do you need to build a television?” the young man who had been staring with wide eyes asked me.

“To get off of this island,” I said.

“How can a television help you get off of this island?” the young blond man asked.

“I can travel through them,” I simply said.

The two young men both stared at me, in disbelief that I could travel through televisions. Then they stared at each other and said at the same time, “Right, it’s April 1st.”

Oh, it is indeed April 1st.

I took another look at my surroundings. They weren’t familiar only because of the commercial. Wasn’t this island exactly like the one in the video game that Dell was playing?

“You can get iron nuggets from hitting rocks with a shovel. You can also find them in presents carried by balloons,” the woman helpfully said.

Okay, iron nuggets appear by hitting rocks with shovels. As I did not have a shovel, I decided to strike down as many balloons as I could. The two young men watched me with wide eyes as I slide stepped and chased after the red balloon I had just seen. I extended my hand in a drill shape and tore the balloon apart.

Wait for me, Young Master! Charles will not give in to island life and spend all his time picking fruits and selling turnips on the stalk market like Dell!

Illusions, Lies, Truth V4C2: Xiang Shui Pan, Part 1—From Coffee to Pears to Apples (April Fool’s)

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Illusions, Lies, Truth Volume 4: In the Name of God, Part Two

Original novel in Chinese by: 御 我 (Yu Wo)

Chapter 2: Xiang Shui Pan, Part 1—From Coffee to Pears to Apples—translated by lucathia

A taxi was waiting outside of the university. Once Liu Yishi, Lu Yang, and Jiang Ziya got on, the driver didn’t even turn his head as he made his greeting.

“Long time no see, Mr. Liu.”

Liu Yishi smiled faintly. “Long time no see, Mr. Driver. Please take us to Xiang Shui Pan.”

Lu Yang introduced, “This is Mr. Driver who has worked with us for a long time. You can call him Driver.”

After he finished speaking, he then told Driver, “You don’t need to pretend to be a quiet driver. Jiang Ziya is my assistant. Give him a business card so he call you for your services in the future, too.”