½ Prince V5C1: The Title of the Defeated King (April Fools version)

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½ Prince Volume 5: A Prince No More

Original novel in Chinese by: 御 我 (Yu Wo)


Chapter 1: The Title of the Defeated King – translated by Evangeline

“Fairsky, have your feelings really changed?”

“Gee, I never realized that Sunshine was such a charmer. He had Fairsky in his grasp before we even noticed.”

As soon as we returned to Infinite City, everyone gathered around us and bombarded Fairsky and Sunshine with questions. The embarrassed and cornered couple had no choice but to answer the rush of questions. Everyone’s faces were grinning with their blessings for Sunshine and Fairsky. Only Lolidragon, who knew the whole story, wasn’t grinning. I spied her sighing secretly from the corner of my eye.

“In conclusion, we wish the two of you much happiness!” Everyone laughed joyously.

“Th-thanks everyone,” Fairsky stammered.

“Okay that’s enough. Stop embarrassing Fairsky and Sunshine, everyone. Now come and listen to Lolidragon‘s explanation of the latest patch for Second Life.” Wolf Dàgē grinned and beckoned to us.

Everyone quieted down and looked at Lolidragon, and so she started to explain the details of the patch. “The main focus of this new patch was making Second Life more realistic. Some common aspects of everyday life that weren’t necessary before are now required. For example, previously in the game, you didn’t have to shower or bathe because your body would never get dirty; but after the patch, if you don’t shower after a day of fighting, the stench will become unbearable.”

Take a bath? I suddenly remembered, Even though I am a guy, I had never seen my “male feature” before. If we have to start taking baths, won’t I have to see it? Ahem… I never thought that the first time I would see an XXX (if you don’t count the incident where I collected the dragon ones for gold), would be on myself. Whoa, I can’t even begin to explain my emotions…

“Prince, if you are afraid to wash that part of your body, I can help you! Just relax and open your legs…” Lolidragon’s irresponsible remarks drifted over the PM channel, making me feel like beating her up.

“Hey!!” Open my legs?! I thought, are you delivering a baby? I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes at Lolidragon.

“But, you still have to go to the washroom by yourself.” Lolidragon muttered to no one in particular.

What? I need to go to the washroom too? My mind was blank for a moment. I have to experience using my XXX to go to the washroom as well?

“Second, except for the NPCs involved in training, the NPC population is going to be decreased. For instance, the NPC shopkeepers in the Sun, Moon and Star cities will disappear eventually and be replaced by real players.” As she saw that my mind was still pondering about the previous topic, Lolidragon giggled twice to herself and continued her explanation. After she had finished her sentence, Yu Lian-Dàsăo frowned.

“Although it wouldn’t cost more to hire players over NPCs, they are harder to manage.” Yu Lian-Dàsăo muttered to herself, wondering if the patch was good or bad news.

Finally, Lolidragon uttered the most important part of the explanation. “I think the most important change in the patch is that Sun, Moon and Star City will be open for conquering…”

“So, the rumors are true.” Wolf-Dàgē grinned. “What does everyone have in mind?”

“There’s nothing left to be discussed! Let’s go and conquer them!” A spark danced in White Bird’s eyes, as if she had been waiting for this moment all her life.

“Conquer the three cities, unite the Central Continent!” Nan Gong Zui tossed down those eight words strongly. The determination and passion which shone clear in his eyes had infected others as well, causing everyone’s hearts to speed up with joy and excitement.

Uh! Another conquest? Looks like my dream of getting some rest isn’t possible anymore…Waa! Why am I so unlucky?! I had just completed my work and then another pile of tasks appear. Gosh, I’m really tired.

I listened morosely to everyone else discussing how to take down the cities. Though everyone knows that I am a military idiot, so it makes no difference whether I listen to the discussion or not… But, as the lord of the city, I can’t just go and take a nap…right? Though I really do want to go for a nap…

“The first thing we should do is to decide on a plan of attack. With the three cities open for conquering, there were probably a lot of other players planning on taking them down too, but we have an advantage over them–Infinite City’s military is progressing greatly these days. This is all thanks to the Infinite Band, and especially to our lord.” White Bird bowed to me graciously, shocking me enough to sit upright and nodding slightly in return. It’s weird; it gives me the creeps every time I see White Bird’s respectful attitude towards me…

White Bird continued, “I think that if we take down one of the cities first, it will only be a matter of time before we conquer the other two cities as well.”

“Hmm, if we are attacking just one city, which city would be the best choice?” Broken Sword thought out loud.

“Should we attack Moon City first?” Nan Gong Zui suggested. “Moon City used to be the Righteous Blades’ base, so its familiar territory to us, which would be a great help in conquering the city.”

“Yeah! Let’s take down Moon City!” Everyone roared excitedly.

“Moon City is it?” I stood up, looking in the direction of Moon City. So that city with the ancient Chinese themed atmosphere is going to burn with the fires of war too? How sad…

Then, Lolidragon’s voice drifted over the PM channel again, “If you are looking in the direction of Moon City, then I am sorry to inform you that you are looking in the opposite direction.”

“…So, what should I do?” Ignoring Lolidragon automatically, I turned to ask Nan Gong Zui.

“Prince, what’s your current level?” Zui suddenly asked me.

“Let me see.” Gee, it’s been so long since I checked my own level I almost forgot that I have one. I called out ‘system menu’ and said truthfully, “Level seventy-six.”

“Seventy-six? That ranks around the hundredth place in player level.” Nan Gong Zui thought out loud, and then he turned to me, “I don’t think your level is high enough.”

“Of the five city lords who won and gain their own land in each of the East, West, South, North and Central Continents, your level seems to be the lowest.” White Bird said carefully, while frowning. It was as if she was worried that she would anger me.

“Really?” I laughed idiotically. It’s not my fault! After the tournament, I went to East Continent and during the time I spent there, I was either helping Jing and Yun level up or I was running around everywhere trying to solve hidden quests. What’s even worse was, during the whole busking tour, I didn’t even manage to train half a level… Actually, knowing that I had only dropped down to the hundredth place in the list, I should probably laugh.

“Hence, my lord, please raise your level. We will arrange for some people dedicated to train with you.” White Bird requested politely.

“Arrange for some people? Can’t I go train with Odd Squad?” All in all, I am more familiar with the members of Odd Squad and our mutual coordination was better.

White Bird looked troubled, “The members of Odd Squad have important roles in the military and administration departments, so they may not have the time to train with you.”

“Is that so?” I felt a little down, I wonder how long had it been since I last trained with everyone?

“Prince, don’t be disappointed. We will come and find you once we have a break.” Wolf-Dàgē laughed and slapped me on the back.

“Well, at least Gui, Wicked, and Phoenix will go with me, right?” I turned toward those three and asked.

“I want to go with His Highness–” Gui didn’t even finish his sentence before Fairsky and Sunshine gagged him and dragged him away.

“You’re kidding! The amount of work piling up in the Construction Department is enough to bury me, and yet you want to be off to train with Prince? Sunshine, grab Gui firmly; if he dares to move as much as a finger, use magic to bombard him until he cannot move!” Fairsky ordered Sunshine in a self-righteous anger, and Sunshine followed her orders obediently. Such an in-sync couple…

“I…” Wicked had barely spoken a word when Nan Gong Zui and Broken Sword suddenly rest their hands on his shoulder and smiled warmly. Is it just me, or are their eyes saying, ‘Don’t even dream about it; you will never step out of this castle! Surrender to your fate!’

Phoenix didn’t even dare utter a single word. Well, I wouldn’t dare to disobey Yu Lian-Dàsăo either!

“So, I will be training alone?” I looked at the trio, disappointment clear in my eyes.

“Liege lord, we will arrange for some other players to go with you.” White Bird said, and then she looked slightly troubled. “But, I hope that my lord can exude the aura of dignity befitting a liege lord in front of those people so as to avoid disappointing our subordinates.”

I showed a troubled expression too and asked in confusion, “How do I exude the aura of dignity befitting a liege lord?”

“Basically, you just have to put on your blood elf look.” Lolidragon explained.

“That tiresome pose for the entire time?” I sighed. The blood elf isn’t the real me, but why does everyone like the fake me?

“It’s our pleasure to train with you, Liege lord!” Looking at the five pairs of eyes sparkling with adoration and love, I wondered how many times I had sighed in my mind. Luckily, XiMen Feng, who was standing to the side, didn’t send looks of adoration at me too, but his/her hateful expression certainly wasn’t exactly soothing, either.

“By Commander White Bird’s orders, we have to give all we have in order to help our lord level up, so our first and primary focus is the liege lord, does everyone understand?” the leading warrior called out to the rest.

“Of course! Our lord is the most important person, so in times of danger, I will heal the lord first. Don’t blame me if the rest of you die in the process.” The one speaking this time was, of course, a priest. The reverence which was so obvious in his eyes made me feel that I was the Goddess of Sea in the shrine being worshipped by passionate followers.

“Don’t worry my lord, we are never gonna give you up!” The archer swore to me with unmoving determination.

The other four nodded in agreement. A mage even chipped in, “And we’re never gonna let you down!”

“Or run around and desert you!” added the warrior.

Continuing the tirade, the priest gushed, “We’re never gonna make you cry; we’re never gonna say goodbye…”

At this point, even XiMen Feng joined in. “And we’re never, ever gonna tell a lie and hurt you!”

I stood dumbfounded. What exactly just happened? I opened my in-game menu and checked the built-in calendar. Ah, yes. Just as I thought. I just lost the game. It’s probably best if I log off and pretend this never happened before things get any worse.

66 Responses

  1. eximius

    thanks for the update, everyone! :D
    (hahah “we are never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down” WIN!)

  2. Gohankuten

    OMG I busted out laughing at the last lines. Would have been perfect if that episode of Family Guy had been playing on my tv but fate didn’t work out that way. I’m surprised Prince didn’t just take out her dao and kill them right there.

  3. dj

    Woohoo, first one to comment this time! Ahem, sorry about that. Back to the purpose of this comment. Thank you very much for all of your hard work. I can’t wait to read this – the background is straining my eyes; I’ll read it later. Thanks again!!!

    • dj

      @dj
      Not first one after all. Oh well, there’s always next time. Yeah.

  4. Deject

    Nice. Nice one. Didn’t expect that due to the time zone, but didn’t take long to realize. Gotta brace myself for the yearly internet black hole.

  5. kirindas

    Thanks for the new chapter. Can someone explain to me what the 2nd to last sentence refers to? “I just lost the game.” I am totally confused what Prince is referring to, since a fight hasn’t started yet.

    • jlucpitard

      She checked her in game calendar. Have you checked yours? April 1st. Rick rolled. You can google either to understand.

  6. loard1234

    hahah she just got rick rolled!! then she lost the game too!!!!!! omg wait.. i just lost~!!!!! dammit!! o welll

  7. lostassyria

    ….did he just get rickrolled or am i missing something here??? XDXDXD

    thanks for the chapter!!

  8. Kerfirou

    Heh, I’ve actually been expecting this.

    this is Friday, after all.

  9. Unkindness

    I thought something was wrong after that third line. Nice one.
    oh, and I lost the game -__-

  10. Chicken

    Is that really the ending of the chapter?just wondering because that doesnt seem to be a very good ending.

  11. dollyfishe

    yai … it’s out before i realize :D march is a busy month after all
    thanx for the release

  12. Reaven

    Rick Roll:
    ‘At this point, even XiMen Feng joined in. “And we’re never, ever gonna tell a lie and desert you!”’
    Shouldn’t it be “and hurt you!”?

    Thank you very much for this chapter. ^^

  13. JenJu

    Lol. Well it is April Fool’s xD
    Darn.. I lost the game. ;-; I had that song stuck in my head even before I read it.

  14. angel

    First you blast us with rebecca black (the LSK update) and now we get rick rolled and lose the game, all within the same post. you guys are evil! :P

  15. greeser

    Damn good one! Many thanks for translation! It’s much more informative and fun, than manga. It’s ultra cool! I’m eager to read the continuation of this. Godspeed, guys!
    BTW, about reference to the song… is it “Oops, I did it again”? I’m not native English, so don’t remember it’s original text.

    • Fuzzee

      @greeser
      No, Definitely not. It’s “Never gonna give you up” – a classic 80’s song that can still be heard on the radio (on the right stations).

  16. Segeve

    Augh! I just got AF’ed, rick’rolled AND I lost the game.
    … Epic Fail.

    • Gohankuten

      @Segeve
      So what exactly is getting AF’ed? Is it about the song at the end of LSK? The only one I knew about was rick rolling but I have looked up the game and have thus lost it as well.

    • Gohankuten

      @Segeve
      And disregard my question on what AF’ed means cause it hit me now. Can’t believe I was thinking AF’ed was something other than april fooled but I wasn’t thinking since I never see people abbreviate it. Now I feel like an even bigger fool

    • 15B

      @Gohankuten
      No need to worry. I saw “AF” and promptly assumed the person meant “Artemis Fowl”. Despite the fact that this site has nothing to do with Artemis Fowl.

      After reading both 2011 April Fools’ chapters, I have to say, I think this is the funnier of the two!
      XD Because Prince just lost the Game!

  17. Vyrvat

    I just lost the game! But happy April Fool’s anyway while I giggle madly.

  18. Aki

    EVILLL EVILLLLLLL
    How could you even think about making me lose the Game? >O
    The Rick Roll was funny though.

  19. daystar

    can you explain what rickrolled means i know that it has something to do with a song

  20. melly

    “With the three cities open for conquering, there are probably a lot of other players who WERE planning to take them down too, but…”
    Wrong verb tense? Shouldn’t were be are?

    Anyway, thanks for the translation!

  21. Igloo

    I’m not sure how seriously you guys did the rest of the translation but you might want to fix “Yeah, let take down Moon City!”

  22. Tairanda

    LOL, fell for this one. The reason for it is that the things that people said in the ending could have been said… Fan’s are a scary force that could abandon their dear ones for their idols…

  23. Flint

    You know… I’d have fell… but then I saw the “af” in the URL, scrolled down, saw the chapter was pretty short…

    So I half-avoided the rickrolling, but anyways LOST THE GAME at the end.

    YOU EVIL PEOPLE!!

    Oh, and BTW, the Sun Knight chapter is another proof for my weird theory that “Friday” is gonna be the new RickRoll. That one made me laugh a lot more than this one, indeed!

  24. Zimzim

    I read “never gonna” and immediately thought “Damn it I just got Rick Rolled”
    great job though

  25. I lost the game. XD And now have Never Gunna Give You Up stuck in my head. XD Nice. b^_^d

  26. guilover

    at least we weren’t rebecca black-rolled… that happened on friday at school. i know exactly who it was, too… grrrr.

  27. Mochiko

    haha…i’m proud to say that i realized what was happening once i read the first line of the song–the wording just didn’t quite fit. xD nice job, guys–definitely wasn’t expecting that.

  28. anon

    Heh. I didn’t realize what was going on until I read the last lines. With the losing the game thing. >.< Putting in a Rick Roll is something that I can honestly say that I could see the original author doing. XD

    Nice AF prank. I love you guys. :D

    • Somebody

      She@anon

      Well, I’m pretty sure that the original author is Chinese (or at least resides in China and probably doesn’t know any English, because if she knew any English she would probably traslate it into English herself so that people English people could read it and so she earn more money for herself) and that there is no such thing is a Rick Roll in China, so I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what that is.

    • eilinel

      1) Yes the author is Chinese, but she resides in Taiwan.
      2) She does have basic understanding of English, although it’s not sufficient to translate the novels into English. Anyway, she could just hire translators to translate the novels for her if she really want to publish it in English. However, she is choosing not to do that for reasons unknown to you and me.
      3) Yes, there is no Rick Roll in China, so yeah, that’s a big hint on it’s an April Fool joke.

  29. skretik

    hahaha… I lost the game :D

    I can´t wait for the next uploaaaaaaaaad :)

    thx for your hard work :)

  30. RPSorrow

    @Unkindness
    Ahhh~~ I had to read it twice before I got it … I completely failed, especially when my friend’s are always playing The Game -_-

    AWESOME CHAPTER THOUGH LOVING THE WORK YOU GUYZ ARE DOING! XD <3

  31. crystalhunter

    “Of the five city lords who won and gain their own land…” — should be “gained”?
    i lost the game… how sad…
    thanks for the chapter!

  32. Vi

    nice rick roll. hope more comes out soon! uh, story, not rick rolling :P

  33. Li

    Great April Fools chap.
    A note though:
    … Though everyone knows …
    It happened in the past, so I feel it should be “Though everyone knew”
    Thanks for listening.

    • amgine

      @Li
      I have to disagree. It’s the present tense because it’s a fact that doesn’t change with time, i.e. it’s not true that “everyone knew” in the past but stopped knowing it.

      Think of the sentence like it’s an universal truth, e.g. “The world is round.”
      You wouldn’t say “was” in this case, and similarly “Everyone knows that in a battle…” is correct with “knows” instead of “”knew.”

      Hope that makes sense.

    • amgine

      @Unanimous
      Yes. Defeated by rickrolls and having lost the game. =P (remember, this is the april fool’s edition)

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