½ Prince V4C2: Snake Kiss

posted in: ½ Prince | 42

½ Prince Volume 4: The Buskers of Infinite City

Original novel in Chinese by: 御我 (Yu Wo)


Chapter 2: Snake Kiss – translated by samuki

“Prince, the people you’ve brought back are rather remarkable, aren’t they?”  Lolidragon asked suspiciously. “Where on earth did you find them?”

I shrugged. “Jing and Yun are my classmates; it’s just a coincidental meeting. Plus they just found out that I’m Prince. As for Kenshin and Sunshine…” I hesitated. Should I tell her?

“They’re NPCs from a hidden quest, right?” Lolidragon stated matter-of-factly.

“How did you know?” I demanded, shocked.

Lolidragon froze for a moment, and then she retorted, “I’m a hidden GM, remember?”

“Oh…,” I scratched my cheek. Didn’t she say that hidden GMs are exactly like normal players? That’s why I thought she wouldn’t know!

Lolidragon sighed deeply and shook her head in disbelief. “You’re one lucky dog, to even be able to complete this super-duper disgustingly difficult hidden mission! You know, Lantis and Kenshin were only created for fun; no one ever expected anyone to complete the mission!”

“Uh, there’s actually a reason behind that,” Should I tell Lolidragon about Kenshin and Sunshine’s ‘awakening’? I hesitated a little; after all, Lolidragon was a Second Life employee. Who knew if she would report this incident?

“It would be best for you to tell everyone that they’re your humanoid pets soon; I’ve already seen a lot of people treating them like players,” Lolidragon nagged.

“No, I can’t tell.” I waved my hands frantically.

Lolidragon asked suspiciously, “Why?”

“Uh, because they’ve gained self-awareness now and I have no intention of treating them as humanoid pets. In fact, I want them to be just like normal players.” I explained everything in one breath.

“Self-awareness?” Lolidragon paled.

As expected, it really is shocking… I took a deep breath, and then said seriously, “Lolidragon, could you please not tell? Don’t inform anyone else about this, okay? Especially not the people from the game company, or else Sunshine and Kenshin would be in danger. I don’t want them to be deleted, so please.”

Lolidragon’s stern expression remained in place for a moment, leaving me in suspense. Finally, she lost it, bursting out into a guffaw. Waving her hand, she said, “Relax, I won’t say a thing. It’s not every day that NPCs gain self-awareness. Something as fun as this, how could I tell the company and let them spoil my fun?”

I was speechless. Whichever company that had hired Lolidragon must be really unfortunate.

The door opened with a thump – Lolidragon and I looked toward the entrance, as a familiar petite figure leapt into my arms and murmured into my ear, “Prince, you’ve finally come back, oh how I’ve missed you!”

I looked down, expressionless. Fairsky really is like an unstoppable, determined roach… Then another very familiar black-haired head latched onto my back . I looked back in stoic silence. This one had even more vitality than Fairsky – Gui, with skin so tough that even bullets could not penetrate it, was looking at me with tear-filled eyes. “Your Highness, you’ve finally returned! I’ve been so worried!”

Worse still, standing in front of me with popping veins on his head, Wicked had long since drawn his sword. I looked impassively at him as he kicked Fairsky and Gui off, and then gave them the beating of their lives… The beaten duo, not wanting to take this sitting down, ganged up against Wicked. Fairsky blocked Wicked’s attacks, while Gui shot cold arrows1 at him, turning Wicked into a bloody pincushion.

“Not stopping them?” Lolidragon asked coolly.

“It’s a good show to watch, why stop it?” I replied in the same cool manner.

Just then, Wicked’s longsword was flung into the air by Fairsky, grazing my cheek and leaving a bloody line… The three brawlers paused to look back at me with regret and heartache in their eyes. I wiped the blood from my cheek with the back of my hand, smiling slightly. “Hitting me too? Interesting!”

Finally, Lolidragon ended up munching on guazi while watching as I thrashed the trio, chatting with me the whole time. “Prince, why don’t you take Phoenix on as well? She’s been moaning about Fan day and night; Nan Gong Zui’s frustrated, as is White Bird.”

“Who’s White Bird?” I punched Gui with my right hand, stepped on Wicked with my left leg, and tickled Fairsky with my left hand using all my strength.

“Oh, you still don’t know. I’ll tell you all about what’s happened!”

Lolidragon told me everything that had transpired during my absence.

“What? Rose and Broken Sword are together?” I paled; in shock, wondering if we had to give them red packets2 soon. It can’t be, right? Recently mom’s been running out to play all the time and she hasn’t written any manuscripts; our house’s finances are a mess. Where am I supposed to get the money for the red packets? When I thought of this, I lashed out more violently at the trio on the floor.

“Are you jealous?” Lolidragon lifted an eyebrow.

At this time, the almost dead trio on the floor leapt up suddenly, looking at me with worried faces. I replied hotly, “No way!”

“That’s good,” someone from the side sighed in relief. I looked over to spot Broken Sword, Rose, and… everyone else.

“When did everyone arrive?” I asked stupidly.

“They started trickling in when you began beating the trio up.” Lolidragon shrugged.

I smiled awkwardly at all of them. “Uh, hello guys.”

“Pfft!” Yun suddenly burst out laughing… Hey, what’s wrong with you, guys don’t go “pfft”, only girls do that! What business do you, a grown man, have laughing like that? “Dàgē, how come you’re becoming more and more stupid? In the beginning, you were even the picture of sternness.”

I aimed a flying kick at him. Exposing my cover? Are you courting death? After kicking him, I smoothed my clothes, and gestured at the four people I was about to introduce to everyone. “This is Gu Yun Fei, a barrier master; Lu Jing, an exorcist; Sunshine, a mage; and Kenshin, a warrior.”

Yun, who had been thrown to the floor by my kick, looked sullen before posing like a mermaid. “Hi everyone, I’m the Gu Yun Fei who’s always bullied by dàgē.”

“I’m Lu Jing. I’m really happy to meet everyone,” Jing posed shamelessly in a cutesy manner in front of the crowd.

“I’m Sunshine, pleased to meet you,” Sunshine smiled elegantly with a tinge of warmth.

“Kenshin,” Kenshin said curtly.

Seeing as all four had finished their self-introductions, I guessed that it was time for me to introduce everyone else to them. But… I counted the amount of people present, and decided to forget about the introductions. I said carelessly, “You guys mingle slowly and get acquainted with each other.”

“Prince, the comrades you’ve brought back this time are extremely talented!” Wolf-dàgē patted my head fondly.

“Of course they’re strong; you don’t know how much time and effort I’ve spent on them!” I sighed, misty-eyed, thinking back to that time…


I had finished the arduous climb up the highest peak, Azure Mountain, only to find the three old prophets standing in front of the stone monument, saying, “Come on! Young one, if you defeat us, you can become the Demon King…” Ah, that’s not right! Defeat them, and they would give me a pile of dung. I stared at it, face full of disbelief, as I thought, What would I need a pile of dung for? I’m not planting any crops, so I don’t need fertilizer, right?

“The main point of this mission is to give you a Great Returning Pill. The stone monument’s name and the prophecies are extras,” Kenshin explained slowly. Seeing the disgusted look on my face as I looked at the pile of ‘Returning Pills’, Kenshin added, “If you eat the Great Returning Pill, your experience points will be multiplied by ten during a period of three days.”

“Oh? That’s quite impressive,” I smiled nicely at the three old farts. Respect to the elderly was an alien thought at the moment.

Kenshin and I gave the three old farts a good beating before taking the dung and stone monument down the mountain along with us, finding there the two familiar people who were in the midst of a good barbeque.

“The two of you share this pile of dung and then we’ll go to the Ghost Cove and train.” I snatched away the aromatic freshly-roasted meat and, ignoring the shocked expressions on their faces, force-fed them a half of the pile each. Seeing that both of them had fainted immediately after, Kenshin and I had no choice but to carry one each and rush back to Ghost Cove.

When we returned to Ghost Cove, I struggled for what seemed like forever at Broken Cliff before being kicked down by an impatient Kenshin… After saving Sunshine, we helped Jing and Yun to train like mad at Ghost Cove. With the help of the Great Returning Pill, both of them managed to level up nearly 15 levels. Lastly, we used Sunshine’s flying carpet to hurry back to Infinite City. Because I was afraid that we wouldn’t make it back in time, I had even threatened the carpet, forcing it to fly at a breakneck speed… If it didn’t, I would have used it as an entrance mat at Infinite City, free for all passers-by to clean their shoes on.


Sigh! These two life-long friends of mine and the two NPCs who had gained self-awareness spent a lot of my time and effort! Ah well, the end justifies the means.

I stopped reminiscing and looked back at everyone else, only to notice that they all looked frustrated yet were at a loss of what to do. When I followed their gaze I saw… Ice Phoenix! Ah, I sighed, I had already promised Nan Gong Zui that I’d take care of his god-sister, plus Lolidragon has also told me to take Phoenix under my wing, so it looks like I can’t escape this matter anymore.

“Phoenix…” I affixed an angst-ridden expression on my face and walked toward Phoenix.

Phoenix yelled at me in panic. “Don’t come over here!”

I stopped in mid-step and softly said one line. “I didn’t know you hated me that much.”

“No, no, it’s just that you…” Phoenix didn’t know what to say for a while, and then she started crying.

I actually made Phoenix cry! I became flustered too. At a time like this, what should I do? In the midst of the panic and disorder, I seemed to hear Lolidragon whisper, “Go and hug her, you idiot.”

Roar! Easy for you to say! But seeing that Phoenix was crying so miserably, I could only bury my sighs deep in my heart and hug Phoenix gently, while consoling her. “It’s alright, don’t cry, no one will blame you.”

At first, Phoenix struggled in my arms, but the more she struggled the tighter I held her until she was finally snug in my embrace, weeping her heart out.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it, b-because Fan he- he begged me, and I still can’t forget him…” Phoenix wailed her explanations out in my arms.

Was I too merciful to Fan, to just let him off like that? Ay, I’m becoming less and less bloody; next time I will improve!

“It’s okay, you can start forgetting now. If you think of him, you can just come and hug me.” As I spoke, I stroked Phoenix’s long hair; I was beginning to understand why men love girls with long-hair; smooth and fragrant, long hair is really a pleasure to touch indeed.

“Prince…” Phoenix shyly buried her face in my chest until only two red ear tips were visible.

“Hmm?” I lifted my nose out from Phoenix’s silky hair and realized that I really shouldn’t have looked up, as I immediately noticed three vengeful spirits… Gui was being held up by Wolf-dàgē in mid-air with his legs kicking out at the air; Wicked was held back by Zui and White Bird, his eyes blood-shot; Fairsky was being pulled back by Rose and Broken Sword, so angry that her cheeks were puffed up.

I broke out in a cold sweat and stiffened – Phoenix obviously noticed that too as she lifted her head up shyly. She then noticed the three vengeful spirits… Her expression changed; she looked at me with a strange resolve… Ugh, I suddenly had a very bad premonition, and while my instincts have never been right about good predictions, they’re superb when it comes to the bad.

“Prince, if you really accept me, then kiss me.” Phoenix closed her eyes and lifted her head high, every inch the picture of a maiden waiting to be ravished.

Ugh… I was right again. Kissing her would be no problem at all, since I’ve already kissed more interesting people – for girls I’ve kissed my own cousin, for guys I’ve kissed the game’s NPC, Kenshin. What more could frighten me?  However, if I were to kiss her in front of the three angry spirits, I’ll never have another peaceful day. Gui would cry until the Great Wall of China falls down3, Wicked would nag to me about girls’ chastity, and Fairsky would go crazy; she might even challenge Phoenix to a duel.

In my hesitation, Phoenix had already opened her tear-filled eyes, but she was doing her utmost to hold back those tears. How… extremely heart-wrenching!

I made my decision. No longer hesitant, I lifted her shocked face, and kissed her roughly.

“Snake kiss4, Prince, give her a snake kiss, then she’ll really be yours, heart and soul.” Lolidragon seemed unusually excited as she cheered us on in the sidelines.

Snake kiss? What’s a snake kiss? Kissing a snake? I was baffled.

“Stick your tongue in Phoenix’s mouth and move it around; that’s a snake kiss.” Lolidragon’s voice rang out in the PM channel.

Oh…. I did as I was instructed, and stuck my tongue into Phoenix’s mouth and moved it around… Finally, when I ran out of breath, I stopped the snake kiss, and licked my own lips, wondering Had Phoenix eaten some candy? Why does her mouth taste sweet?

“So stimulating…” Lolidragon said dumbly. I shot her a glance, thinking, Lolidragon, even if you want to try it out, please don’t look so eager! Have some self-restraint, alright?

I looked down to see how Phoenix was faring, only to see that her eyes had already formed two giant hearts and her entire body was limp, remaining upright only through the support of my two arms… How could this be? I only felt that it was a little numbing, and sweet! I scratched my cheek and decided not to think about it any further. As long as I could seduce Phoenix away from Fan, all was well! But I still have the problem of the three vengeful spirits to deal with!

I handed a still-swooning Phoenix to her sister, White Bird, and moved toward the team of resentful spirits who were standing like statues, frozen to the ground with shock at what I had just done. First, I walked to Fairsky’s side and smiled at her. She couldn’t help but to smile back, then… I repeated my actions and gave her a good snake kiss. Looking at another heart-shaped-eyed girl in my arms, I suddenly felt that it was extremely fun!

I threw Fairsky over to Rose and turned my head to look towards the two men. I frowned. I don’t mind kissing girls, but if it’s men… After all, I’m a young maiden; it wouldn’t seem too good if I did that, right? But, I really want to know if kissing guys or girls feels more comfortable.

“Prince, your highness….” Gui’s tears had already formed two waterfalls, and his voice was full with grief.

I was thinking, Okay, I’ll kiss him once, seeing that he’s so pitiful…But just as I was about to walk toward him, and Gui looked extremely ecstatic when…

“You’re not allowed to kiss him; I’ll leave the issue of you kissing girls alone, but… You! Must! Not! Kiss! Gui!” Wicked’s flames of wrath were strong, almost to the point of materializing. I stopped walking, for the safety of my life, and shrugged at Gui.

“Wicked, what quarrel do you have with me?” Gui’s eyes were full of pain and anger.

“Hatred as deep as Blood Sea5!” Wicked glared right back.

I turned around, no longer caring about the brawling duo and stretched lazily, only to find out that… I was hungry. “Lolidragon, I’m hungry.”

Lolidragon looked unfazed, as if she already knew that was coming. “The food has already been prepared, and you can familiarize yourself with the new members White Bird, her husband Outside Window, Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’, and so on while you are eating.”

“Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’?” I  emphasized on the word ‘parents’. If I’m not wrong, doesn’t Feng Wu Qing have the same parents as me?

“Yeah, this time in the siege, Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’ helped out a lot, plus they’ve already decided to settle down in Infinite City,” said Lolidragon,  emphasizing the word ‘parents’ as I had.

“…” My shoulders slumped down; I had just managed to get out of one storm, when another one comes – I was beginning to suspect that I hadn’t yet made my peace with any unhappy deities somewhere.

I followed Lolidragon to the dining room…and started sweating like mad. Is there someone getting married? How come it looks like a wedding feast?! I could only see row upon row of lanterns and ribbons, all with a red theme color, and counted scores of round tables with everyone sitting in their proper places, all wide-eyed with excitement, watching my entrance. Suddenly I felt as if Lolidragon and I were the long anticipated bride and groom. I even looked back to check if there was a giant ‘Congratulations’ stuck to the wall behind me.

What the…? That’s what I get for turning back to look; it’s unknown whether the word was painted on with coloring or whether it was actual blood.  It looked like it had just been written because it was still dripping.

“Liege Lord, would you like to go over the city’s operations or finances first?” An unfamiliar face… This should be the White Bird that Lolidragon was talking about! She was holding a thick stack of paper, blocking my way toward my lovely dining table, her expression respectful yet not too humble.

“Let’s eat first!” I waved my hand; nothing is more important than my wonderful food.

Upon hearing that, White Bird put away the papers in her hand and said, “Yes, my Lord. Then would you please announce the commencement of dinner?”

I rubbed my nose; I wasn’t used to being addressed so politely. “Everyone, it’s time to eat.”

The quiet crowd suddenly roared back to life, and I too was eager to sit down and enjoy my exquisite meal of… White rice, meat floss, and egg soup? I blinked but it was still those three things. It can’t be… Are those appetizers? “Lolidragon, these are…”

“Main dishes.” Seemingly knowing what I was thinking, Lolidragon replied without a moment’s hesitation.

“This…,” The corner of my mouth cramped as I recalled Zhuo-gēge telling me something about Infinite City’s financial woes. But is it really this bad?

“What’s the matter? The person who spent 5000 crystal coins taking a ship to Eastern Continent isn’t satisfied with the food?” Yu Lian-dàsăo’s warm voice rang out, but I felt like I’d fallen into an ice pit and couldn’t stop shivering.

“These dishes are wondrous; I haven’t had such, such healthy food in ages!” To prove my point, I even lifted up my rice bowl and started shoveling huge amounts of plain rice into my mouth.

Yu Lian-dàsăo gave a small smile once again. “Prince should have been rather well-fed during this trip, right?”

Right… I started sweating violently. Suddenly, I had an inspiration that I hoped would save my skin; I snatched up my backpack and dug out a gleaming red ruby (Remember which one this was? The one on a certain someone’s large door… I had hacked it down before leaving.) I presented it with shaking hands. “Dàsăo, this is little brother’s small gift of appreciation, please accept it.”

Yu Lian-dàsăo signaled for Phoenix to take the ruby. Phoenix actually…sniffed the ruby before saying, “3000 crystal coins.”

Oi, you’re a phoenix, not a dog…yet you sniff?

Yu Lian-dàsăo used her eyes to cue Lolidragon next, who threw down her chopsticks hurriedly to say in a calm and dignified manner, “Prince, because of the city’s economy crisis, we’ve decided to send you out to earn money.”

I pointed to my own nose, face full of shock, thinking Me? Earn money? Spending it all is more likely… What if! What if they really want me to work as something like a male host? I paled and asked, “How am I going to do that?”

Doll suddenly broke out in a radiant smile, “Prince-gēge is so good-looking.”

Lolidragon nodded. “Plus Blood Elf’s name is so well-known.”

I’m done for, I’m done for; they really want me to work as a male host? My first part time job and I have to sell my body? No way, this will never do, if news of this spreads, how am I, a little maiden, supposed to continue living? It’s impossible… But – I eyed Yu Lian-dàsăo’s widening smile… Ugh, I’ll at most be a male escort, selling my smile and not my body; I can still tolerate that… I looked at Yu Lian-dàsăo’s smiling face again… Ugh, at the very most, I’ll accept selling my body to ‘beauties’.

“According to what Lolidragon said, you can sing rather well?” Wolf-dàgē suddenly asked out of the blue.

I was stunned. Do I sing well? I turned toward to Lolidragon, face full of puzzlement.

“Didn’t you sing ‘It’s My Life’ to me before?” Lolidragon lifted an eyebrow. “I dare say that at the very least you’re a match for the original singer.”

“Prince, you sing, and I’ll help you to play the accompaniment!” Gui raised up his guqing and started tuning.

Use a guqing to play rock and roll songs? We’d better not, right? Even if the original singer didn’t turn in his grave, the guqing string would surely break… But, looking at the anticipation in the eyes of the crowd, I was too embarrassed to say no, so I had no choice but to discuss the choice of songs with Gui. “Let’s change it to a song with more sentimental feelings, that one isn’t very suited for accompaniment on guqing.”

“Which one then?” Gui asked.

I didn’t need to think twice, “Dreams Want to Fly.”

As Gui played the first note, I too immersed myself in the song’s lyrics. I opened my mouth and sang:

Dreams want to fly
Flying with wings wouldn’t be amazing any longer, feathers are too soft
Dreams are heavy and burdening, nothing seems more difficult than taking-off
I jump, I leap, I will try
I fall, I’m hurt, I pity myself

Crossing over heart, over hardships, but not over feelings,
Taking the final step, hurting myself, hurting others, but I can’t hurt eternity,
Legends, created with sadness, bitterness and sorrow
Touched only by wanting to fly, and flying
Dreams want to fly

<Dreams Want to Fly> by Yu Wo

I stopped singing, took a deep breath, and came back to reality. When I opened my eyes again, everyone in the audience seemed absorbed in my singing. I could only scratch my cheek; did I really sing that well?

Yu Lian-dàsăo was the first to open her eyes; they shone with bright excitement as she said, “We’ve struck gold!”

“Huh?” What does she mean? How come I feel so uneasy again, especially after spotting my parents sitting at the table to my left, looking like they’re deep in thought? My heart started racing at the thought.

[½ Prince Volume 4 Chapter 2 End]

Footnotes

1 Cold arrows: A term in Chinese that literally means sneaky attacks using arrows.

2 Red packets: These are mainly presented at social and family gatherings such as weddings or on holidays such as the Lunar New Year. The red color of the envelope symbolizes good luck and is supposed to ward off evil spirits. The act of requesting for red packets is normally called (Mandarin): 討紅包, 要利是. (Cantonese):逗利是. A married person would not turn down such request as it would mean that he or she would be “out of luck” in the new year. In keeping with Chinese customs, newly wedded couples are also usually expected to be extremely generous with the amount offered in the red packets, so as to receive blessings for a blissful marriage.  See wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_envelope) for more information.

3 “…cry until the Great Wall of China falls down”: There’s a story about this saying. The building of Great Wall of China caused a lot of people’s deaths so the people in ancient China were unwilling to go build it. However, the emperor of that time forced the men to leave their homes to build the Great Wall. A woman called Meng Jiang Nv had just married when her husband was forced to go build the Great Wall, and he died. Legend said Meng Jiang Nv cried days and nights under the Great Wall after her husband death until the unfinished part of Great Wall was shaken and fell down.

4 Snake kiss: Snake kiss is pronounced the same in Chinese as ‘tongue kiss’…which, as you can guess, is a French kiss.

5 “Hatred as deep as the Blood Sea”: Usually this phrase is used for a really deep hatred, for example when the enemy had killed your parents…hence the blood sea part. The blood sea part also can mean that you hate your enemy so much that you want to see his blood flowing out so much that it can form a ‘sea’.

42 Responses

  1. SR's stalker, ask SR

    woot new chapter, way more detailed than in the manhua ^^

  2. Kittychan H

    Lurk… Lurk… Lurk…

    Waaaah??? Yay, Wheeeeee! Updated!!!!

    ***Happy Kitty Dance***
    ***Flinging Digital Cookies***

    >^.^<

  3. Thank you

  4. Waah!! I love you so much!

    What an enjoyable chapter. Truly, I thank you for making this so fun to read. The smooth flow of the text makes it seem nearly impossible that this is a translation! Thank you for your dedication!

  5. thank you so much, i love this chapter.
    Snake kiss, lol

  6. thank you so very much.
    explains how xioalan’s parents know prince sings “its my life”

  7. benevida

    I see from wikipedia that they can also be called ‘red packets’, but I’ve only ever heard them called ‘red envelopes’, (here in Los Angeles). Could it be better read as ‘Respecting my elders’ instead of ‘Respectfulness to the elderly’?

    …And thank you for the chapter. My calloused, rheumatic fingers can finally ease off the refresh button. I needn’t soak in healing mineral water, they are already bathed in salty tears of joy.

    • Same here; my family is Cantonese and we live in a suburban area with lots of Chinese people around, but I’ve only ever heard them called ‘red envelopes’ as well.

    • erialis

      “Red envelopes” is more common in NA and Australia among Chinese immigrants. “Red packets” is the term used among English-speaking Chinese in other areas such as SE Asia usually.

  8. ^ ^ thank you so very much for the translation of this chapter! Thank you for all your splendid job and dedication on this project. It’s such a joy to read it.

  9. dollyfishe

    after a long wait :D TQ

  10. Yeah the reason we all like this is because its more detailed than the manhua/manga.

    Anyway ty for the update (made us wait long enough xD).

  11. Thanks

  12. belllda

    Thank you so very much for this chapter! It was relly funny one!!! :o)

  13. thank you for the new chapter!! :)

  14. Lucifer Dawn

    Thank you for your Great Work.

    I offer my Thanks and Blessings to all involed in the completion of this chapter.

    May the Goddess of Luck Smile upon You

  15. Hehe, fun chapter. XD And the Wicked vs. Gui saga continues! XP I look forward to seeing the singing group formed. ^__^ Keep up the great work on the translations! =D

  16. WithoutName

    Wow, this version of Yu Wo’s song reads better than the version in the manhua. Really good work on the translation!

    I rather hate being a downer but a couple things missed in the proof-reading:

    some of the ellipsis (…) have extra punctuation like a comma or extra period, which aren’t necessary.

    White Bird’s line about announcing the beginning of dinner has an extra “then”

    “What if! What if…” might read better as “What if- What if…” since it seems to be a break then restarting a sentence, rather than two sentences

    “[i]It’s impossible…[/i] But – I eyed…” Should “but” be italicized as part of her thought?

    *nag end*

    Thanks again for all your hard work, sorry to nag. Please, no rotten vegetables. I’ll be quiet and enjoy reading, now.

  17. xdannab

    umm here’s a small correction
    When Prince says :”Don’t inform anyone else about this, okay?”
    shouldn’t it be: “Don’t inform anyone about this, okay?”

    because when you say “else” you imply that she already told someone…

    • eilinel

      When Prince say anyone else, he mean don’t tell anyone other than Lolidragon and himself. The “else” is there because Prince had already told Lolidragon.

  18. xdannab

    “Especially not the people from the game company, or Sunshine and Kenshin would be in danger. ”

    maybe you should add the else here? and change would to will? ex:

    “Especially not the people from the game company, or else Sunshine and Kenshin will be in danger. “

  19. BookDragon

    THANK YOU!!!!!!
    your hard work and time are greatly appreciated!
    Can’t wait for the next release!
    even if i must wait forever i will read this story till the end!
    Thank You!!

  20. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

    -fangirl spaz aside- Thanks for your amazing translation. I love imagining Wicked’s hate face <3

  21. Thank you!

  22. Yay! Thank you so muchn <3

  23. Pearl_DA

    Thanks so much for the translation!
    The Snake Kid part was really crack-tastic; I can’t help laughing my guts out =))
    And jeez… Phoenix being the assistant to Yu Lian-dasao… Amazing.

  24. Mangavore

    Woooot!!!

    Thank you sooo much for this chapter!! ^_^ It was worth the wait. Xie xie!!!

  25. uh, is it juct me or did lolidragon give the impression of being a self-aware NPC and trying to hide it? this theory doesn’t quite fit, but why else was she acting so wierd when prince told her about sunshine and kenshin?

    • eilinel

      All will be revealed in due time ^^. You are quite sharp for catching that, I didn’t notice at all during my first read through lol.

    • Thanks :)
      I didn’t catch it at all in Odd Squad’s scanlation which I read first.
      And now I’ve come across a spoiler elsewhere (after noticing this point) I’ll probably be looking for hints more closely.

  26. Thank you endlessly for this chappie. made my day.

    What doesn’t make my day is an obscure reference to ‘posing like a mermaid’. a footnote would be helpful. Is it in reference to that statue of the little mermaid somewhere in europe? Confusing.

    Other than that, smiles for everybody!

    • Kittychan H

      ‘posing like a mermaid’…

      I pictured, since he had been thrown to the floor, that he pushed himself up with his hands from a face down position. Possibly, he also raised up his feet like a sea lion in the show at an aquarium…

      (***brain wanders away to imagine various male characters in said ‘sea lion’ position…***)

    • WithoutName

      That is basically the idea. I think Prince takes the same pose in the manhua as well. (but I can’t remember the specific page)

      He is half-laying with his legs behind (maybe at a slight angle), propped up with arms straight. Typically a provocative pose for a woman.

      Imagine a mermaid climbing forward out of the water onto a rock, to best emphasize her human features.

  27. Thank you for putting the time and effort into translating these novels. I only know how to speak Chinese fluently, otherwise I’d offer my assistance in translating.

    Furthermore, I hate to nitpick, but there are some small changes I’d advise, some for clarity, some because of the awkward phrasing, others due to wordiness, and a few are grammatical mistakes. Please note that ALL the issues I’ve pointed out aren’t ESSENTIAL, and of course, you’re under no obligation to change anything. : )

    (Also, whoever’s editing based on this comment should probably plan to set aside a good half hour to forty-five minutes. DX )

    01 >> “Prince, the people you’ve brought back are rather remarkable aren’t they?” (Add a comma after remarkable.)
    02 >> “Jing and Yun are my classmates; it’s just a coincidental meeting.” (Change ‘it’s’ to ‘it was.’)
    03 >> “You’re one lucky dog, even being able to complete this super-duper disgustingly difficult hidden mission!” (Change ‘even being able to’ to ‘to even be able to.’)
    04 >> Here’s a purely optional change. I noticed a HUGE number of semicolons as I was reading, so I think it would sound better to take some out, because some of the sentences function better as separate thoughts (plus, semicolons are usually used rarely anyway in literature). “You know, Lantis and Kenshin were only created for fun; no one ever expected anyone to complete the mission!” (Get rid of the semicolon after ‘fun,’ replace with a period, and capitalize ‘no.’)
    05 >> Another purely optional change: “I hesitated a little; after all, Lolidragon was a Second Life employee. Who knew if she would report this incident?” (Get rid of the semicolon after ‘little,’ replace with a period, and capitalize ‘after’.)
    06 >> “Uh, actually there’s a reason behind that,” (Change ‘actually there’s’ to ‘there’s actually’ or add a comma after ‘actually.’)
    07 >> Another purely optional change: “It would be best for you to tell everyone that they’re your humanoid pets soon; I’ve already seen a lot of people treating them like players,” (Get rid of the semicolon after ‘soon’, replace with a period.)
    08 >> “I don’t want them to be deleted, so please.” (Optional: add an ellipsis instead of a period after ‘please.’)
    09 >> “Whichever company hires Lolidragon must be really unfortunate.” (Either change it to ‘whatever company hires Lolidragon’ or ‘whichever company hired Lolidragon.’)
    10 >> “Lolidragon and I looked toward the entrance, as a familiar petite figure leapt into my arms…” (Delete the comma after ‘entrance.’)
    11 >> “Fairsky really is like an un-killable, determined roach…” (Un-killable isn’t a word, so replace that with unbeatable, undefeatable, or a similar adjective.)
    12 >> “This one had even more vitality than Fairsky – Gui, who had skin so tough that even bullets could not penetrate, was looking at me with tear-filled eyes.” (Replace ‘who had’ with ‘with’ and add ‘it’ after ‘penetrate.’)
    13 >> “I looked expressionlessly at him as he kicked Fairsky and Gui off,” (Replace ‘expressionlessly’ with ‘impassively,’ or ‘blankly,’ to avoid unnecessary repetition, since expressionless was used in the previous paragraph.)
    14 >> “Just then, Wicked’s longsword was flung into the air by Fairsky, grazing my cheek and leaving a bloody line…” (Switch ‘Wicked’s longsword was flung into the air by Fairsky,’ to ‘Fairsky flung Wicked’s longsword into the air.’ Another optional change: replace the ellipsis with a period to avoid dot spam. XD)
    15 >> “Finally, Lolidragon ended up munching on guazi while watching as I thrashed the trio,” (Optional: replace ‘finally’ with ‘eventually’. Also change ‘as I thrashed’ to ‘me thrash the trio.’)
    16 >> “Who’s White Bird?” (There’s actually nothing wrong with this sentence, but I distinctly remember that, in the previous chapter (V4C1), Prince actually referred to White Bird. It might already have been changed or I might be wrong, but someone should probably look into that to keep things consistent.)
    17 >> “I punched Gui with my right hand, stepped on Wicked with my left leg, and tickled Fairsky using all my strength with my left hand.” (Parallelism is everything! Change ‘tickled Fairsky using all my strength with my left hand’ to ‘tickled Fairsky with my left hand using all my strength.’)
    18 >> “Lolidragon told me everything that had transpired during my absence.” (It might have just been me, but I felt like this sentence was really… abrupt. Maybe change it to “Lolidragon proceeded to tell me everything that had transpired during my absence.”)
    19 >> “I paled; in shock, wondering if we had to give them red packets2 soon.” (Replace ‘wondering if’ to ‘I wondered if’ to keep the tense the same as ‘paled.’)
    20 >> “Recently mom’s been running out to play all the time and she hasn’t written any manuscripts; our house’s finances are a mess.” (Optional: add a comma after recently. Also optional: delete ‘she’ after ‘time and.’ Another optional change: change ‘house’s finances to ‘family’s finances.’)
    21 >> “When I thought of this, I lashed out more violently at the trio on the floor.” (Add ‘even’ before ‘more.’)
    22 >> “At this time, the almost dead trio on the floor leapt up suddenly, looking at me with worried faces.” (Change ‘almost dead trio’ to ‘nearly dead trio.’)
    23 >> “Yun suddenly burst out laughing…” (Delete the ellipsis.)
    24 >> “What business do you, a grown man, have laughing like that?” “Dàgē, how come you’re becoming more and more stupid? In the beginning, you were even the picture of sternness.” (Change ‘What business do you, a grown man, have laughing like that?’ to ‘What business does a grown man have to be laughing like that?’ Then get rid of ‘even’ in ‘you were even the picture.’)
    25 >> “After kicking him, I smoothed my clothes, and pointed at the four people I was about to introduce to everyone.” (Optional changes: add ‘down’ after ‘smoothed’ and replace ‘pointed’ with ‘gestured.’ I figured pointing is kind of rude.)
    26 >> “I’m Lu Jing. I’m really happy to meet everyone,” Jing posed shamelessly in a cutesy manner in front of the crowd. (Either change the comma after ‘everyone’ to a period or change the last half of the sentence into ‘Jing said, posing shamelessly in a cutesy manner in front of the crowd.’)
    27 >> “I’m Sunshine, pleased to meet you,” Sunshine smiled elegantly with a tinge of warmth. (Same deal here, change the comma into a period or rewrite the second half of the sentence.)
    28 >> “I said carelessly, “You guys mingle slowly and get acquainted with each other.” (Add a comma after ‘I said.’)
    29 >> “I had finished the arduous climb up the highest peak, Azure Mountain, only to find the three old prophets standing in front of the stone monument, saying, “Come on! Young one, if you defeat us, you can become the Demon King…” (Add ‘in Second Life’ after ‘highest peak.’ Replace the comma after ‘stone monument’ with a period (always keep sentences > “Ah, that’s not right! Defeat them, and they would give me a pile of dung.” (I think this should be italicized to indicate her thoughts. ‘and they would give me a pile of dung’ should also be corrected to say something like ‘all they’ll give me is a pile of dung.’)
    31 >> “Respectfulness to the elderly was an alien thought at the moment.” (Optional: change ‘respectfulness’ to ‘respect.’)
    32 >> “Kenshin and I gave the three old farts a good beating before taking the dung and stone monument down the mountain along with us, finding there the two familiar people who were in the midst of a good barbeque.” (Delete ‘there the.’)
    33 >> “I snatched away the aromatic freshly-roasted meat and, ignoring the shocked expressions on their faces, force-fed them a half of the pile each.” (Add a comma after aromatic. Discard ‘and’ and add a period after ‘freshly-roasted meat.’ Capitalize the ‘i’ in ‘ignoring’ and add ‘I’ before ‘force-fed them.’ Specify a half pile of what by saying ‘a half pile of the dung each.’
    34 >> “Seeing that both of them had fainted immediately…” (Optional: replace ‘seeing that’ with ‘since’ and delete ‘had.’)
    35 >> “kicked down by an impatient Kenshin…” (Delete the redundant ellipsis.)
    36 >> “After saving Sunshine, we helped Jing and Yun to train like mad at Ghost Cove. With the help of the Great Returning Pill, both managed to level up nearly 15 levels.” (Delete ‘to’ after ‘Jing and Yun.’ The second sentence lacks a clear subject. Either add ‘Jing and Yun’ before ‘both managed’ or replace ‘both’ with ‘they’ or add ‘of them’ after ‘both.’)
    37 >> “I had even threatened the carpet, forcing it to fly at a breakneck speed… If it didn’t, I would have used it as an entrance mat at Infinite City,” (Delete ‘had’ before ‘even threatened.’ Change ‘didn’t’ to ‘had refused’ or ‘hadn’t’.)
    38 >> “These two life-long friends of mine and the two NPCs who had gained self-awareness spent a lot of my time and effort!” (Change ‘the two NPCs who had gained self-awareness’ to ‘the two self-aware NPCs.’)
    39 >> “…only to notice that they all looked frustrated and yet at a loss of what to do.” (Change ‘and yet’ to ‘yet were.’)
    40 >> “When I followed their gaze I saw… Ice Phoenix!” (Add a comma after ‘gaze.’)
    41 >> “Ah, I sighed, I had already promised Nan Gong Zui that I’d take care of his god-sister, plus Lolidragon has also told me to take Phoenix under my wing, so it looks like I can’t escape this matter anymore.” (Delete ‘had.’ Optional change: edit ‘plus Lolidragon has also’ to ‘and moreover, Lolidragon also.’)
    42 >> “Phoenix didn’t know what to say for a while, and then started crying.” (Add ‘she’ after ‘and then.’)
    43 >> “It’s alright, don’t cry, no one will blame you.” (Change the comma after ‘cry’ to a period and capitalize ‘no.’)
    44 >> “Phoenix struggled in my arms at first, but the more she struggled the tighter I held her, until finally she was snug in my embrace, weeping her heart out.” (Optional: Change the entire thing to ‘At first, Phoenix struggled in my arms, but the more she struggled the tighter I held her until she was finally snug in my embrace, weeping her heart out.’)
    45 >> “As I spoke, I stroked Phoenix’s long hair; I was beginning to understand why men love girls with long-hair; smooth and fragrant, long hair is really a pleasure to touch indeed.” (Change the first semicolon after ‘long hair’ to a period.)
    46 >> “Gui was being held up by Wolf-dàgē in mid-air with his legs kicking out at the air;” (Optional: delete ‘at the air’ to avoid repetition.)
    47 >> “I broke out in a cold sweat and stiffened – Phoenix obviously noticed that too as she lifted her head up shyly.” (Delete ‘that too.’)
    48 >> “She then noticed the three vengeful spirits… Her expression changed; she looked at me with a strange resolve… Ugh, I suddenly” (Optional: delete the first ellipsis to avoid repetition. The ‘ugh’ isn’t really needed either.)
    49 >> “Wicked would nag to me about girls’ chastity,” (Remove ‘to.’)
    50 >> “Oh…. I did as I was instructed, and stuck my tongue into Phoenix’s mouth and moved it around…” (Delete the fourth dot in the first ellipsis. The second ellipsis isn’t really needed either.)
    51 >> “I looked down to see how Phoenix was faring, only to see that her two eyes had already formed two giant hearts and her entire body was limp, remaining standing only through the support of my two arms…” (Delete the ‘two’ in ‘her two eyes’ to avoid repetition. Replace ‘standing’ with ‘upright.’ The ellipsis isn’t really needed here either, although I suppose it could be leading into her thoughts.)
    52 >> “…moved toward the team of resentful spirits who were standing still like statues, frozen to the ground with shock at what I had just done.” (Replace ‘standing still like statues’ with ‘standing like statues’ or ‘standing as still as statues.’)
    53 >> “Looking at another heart-shaped-eyed girl in my arms, I suddenly felt that it was extremely fun!” (Optional: I would replace the sentence with something like ‘Upon seeing another heart-eyed girl in my arms, I suddenly felt that snake kissing was extremely fun!’)
    54 >> “Prince, your highness….” Gui’s tears had already formed two waterfalls, and his voice filled with grief. (Delete the fourth dot in the ellipsis. Then stick a ‘had’ after voice or rephrase into something like this: ‘his voice was full with grief.’)
    55 >> “I was thinking, Okay, I’ll kiss him once, seeing that he’s so pitiful… I was just about to walk toward him, and Gui had looked extremely ecstatic when…” (No need for the ‘I was thinking,’ it sounds a little redundant with the next sentence. Alternatively, you can change ‘I was just about to walk’ into ‘But just as I was about to walk’. Delete the ‘had’ after ‘Gui.’)
    56 >> “Hatred as deep as Blood Sea5!” Wicked glared right back. (Add ‘the’ after ‘as deep as.’)
    57 >> “…and you can familiarize yourself with the new members White Bird, her husband Outside Window, Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’, and so on while you are eating.” (Add a colon after members.)
    58 >> “Yeah, this time in the siege, Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’ helped out a lot,” (Discard ‘this time in’ for ‘during’ or rewrite as “Feng Wu Qing’s ‘parents’ helped out a lot for the siege.”)
    59 >> “I was beginning to suspect that I hadn’t yet made my peace with any unhappy deities somewhere.” (Remove ‘any.’)
    60 >> “I could only see row upon row of lanterns and ribbons, all with a red theme color, and counted scores of round tables with everyone sitting in their proper places, all wide-eyed with excitement, watching my entrance.” (Once again, the > “Suddenly I felt as if Lolidragon and I were the long anticipated bride and groom.” (Swap the order of ‘Suddenly I’ into ‘I suddenly.’)
    62 >> “It should be White Bird that Lolidragon was talking about!” (Change ‘It’ to ‘this.’ Add a ‘the’ after ‘be.’)
    63 >> “Then would you then please announce the commencement of dinner?” (Take out one of the ‘then’s, preferably the second.)
    64 >> “I too was eager to sit down enjoy my exquisite meal of…” (Add a ‘to’ before ‘enjoy.’)
    65 >> “(Remember which one this was? The one on a certain someone’s large door… I had hacked it down before leaving.).” (There are two periods at the end. I would also rephrase ‘remember which one this was’ to ‘remember where this came from?’ Finally, remove the ‘had’ before ‘hacked it down.’)
    66 >> “Ugh, I’ll at the most be a male escort” (Delete ‘the.’)
    67 >> “According to what Lolidragon says, you can sing rather well?” (Get rid of ‘what’ and ‘says.’ Or replace ‘says’ with ‘said.’)

    I apologize if I sound like a broken record for some of these changes, but I tried to suggest things only to fix awkward phrasing, grammatical errors, etc., and sometimes the fixes happened to be very similar.

    • eilinel

      I’m looking through the long list now and making fixes if they apply…@@.

      About the White Bird part, either the author had forgotten that she appeared before in V4C1, or you can take it as although Prince had met her in V4C1, he still doesn’t recognize her in this chapter.

    • WithoutName

      If I recall correctly…
      Prince first meets White Bird herself at the Infinite City battle, and gives her orders without time for proper introductions. So does not connect name to face. As for being Ice Phoenix’s sister, I can’t recall if Nan Gong Zui used her name when first telling Prince about Phoenix and Fan. Just that he and Phoenix’s sister were worried.

      I could be wrong though.

    • Thank you for doing so. I half expected my enormous comment to be ignored, to be totally honest. XD

      Yeah, I know a lot of the stuff I suggested is optional. Sorry to make you go through it all, but I figured it’s better to include it that not.

      Hmm, okay. I must have remembered incorrectly. :U

  28. Kittychan H

    Lurk… Lurk…

  29. Kittychan H

    Sigh…. I’m lurking like a vampire at the back door of the blood bank.

    I have to fly to LA later today and might not be able to check again till Friday. So, I’m getting in a weeks worth of checking today.

    Looking forward to the next chapter with the formation of the busking tour group and some people figuring out who Prince is in real life. Thank you for all your hard work!!!

  30. Kittychan H

    Away from home,Southern California Lurk…

    Awww… *** Making Big Kitty Eyes ***
    Waiting patiently for update….

  31. ProGoddess

    It is such a great story that Yu Wo has written. It would be a shame if it doesnt turned into an anime or live action series.

  32. Nobody is a match for Bon Jovi!! I can’t believe that Lolidragon was one of my fav characters.

Leave a Reply