GOD V2C5: Dan’s Uncle, Part Two

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GOD —The Beginning of the End— Volume 2: Elf, Nanny, Thunderous Anger

Original novel in Chinese by: 御 我 (Yu Wo)


Chapter 5: Dan’s Uncle, Part Two—translated by lucathia (proofread by Trespasserby)

Under the bright and clear moonlight, the swaying grass gave off a faint, silver glow. In the midst of the grass hid a glittering lake. If you didn’t take a close look, you might think it was a particularly dense expanse of grass.

Next to the lake was a handsome, carefree figure, whose posture was as straight as a pine tree, with supple, black hair tied at the back of their head and white clothes caressed by the night wind. It was a sight so beautiful that you wouldn’t be able to bear to make any noise to disrupt it.

Even Alan, who was a beautiful elf himself, was mesmerized by this sight. He quietly took in the view of the handsome figure before his eyes.

The figure suddenly turned around and smiled faintly, and even those amber eyes carried a trace of that smile. The elf couldn’t help but admit that even though he held no positive feelings toward humans, he could not bring himself to hate this human.

Bai Saya said with a smile, “The moonlight is resplendent today. It’s perfect for doing a certain task.”

“Do you wish to dance?” Alan expressed his understanding.

He was a moon elf, and moon elves were the race that loved to dance under the night sky the most. In his opinion, from Bai Saya’s tall, slim figure to his flowing attire, everything about him was suited for dancing. Even a moon elf, a lifelong dancer, couldn’t help but anticipate the sight of Bai Saya’s elegant dancing.

“Dance?”

Bai Saya’s smile was a bit stiff. A piece of clothing smacked the side of his face, covering that friendly smile.

Bai Saya was still smiling. Alan looked at him expressionlessly.

“Hey!” Shooting Star shouted brashly with his hands on his waist, “The moonlight is so bright, you’re gonna take this chance to do some laundry, right? Help me wash my underwear, too!”

The moonlight was still bright and clear, the grass was still giving off a faint, silver glow, the lake was still as fair as the surface of an egg, and the beautiful person remained elegant, a sight most suitable for a moon elf’s dance. Of course, it was also very suitable for adventurers to use the moonlight to wash clothes by the lakeside.

The graceful beauty wasn’t going to dance and was just washing underwear.

Hardworking pet number one, Bai Saya, was currently diligently washing clothes. Shooting Star wasn’t slacking off either. He used his cooking-dedicated fireball to roast a certain foolish black bear that had dared to attack them. The elf was still overcome by shock and wasn’t able to do anything.

As Bai Saya hung up the underwear, he asked curiously, “Shooting Star, where are we heading next?”

Shooting Star clenched his fists and shouted, “Duh! Of course we’re finding a city of culinary delights and eating our fill!”

“Um!” Bai Saya frowned and said hesitantly, “Shooting Star…”

“What?” Shooting Star snapped back. Using Fireball to cook required high amounts of concentration! A moment of inattention, and the food would turn into burnt charcoal, yet Xiao Bai kept interrupting him. Do you want food or not?

Bai Saya warily reminded him, “Shooting Star, in order to sneak into the auction site, we bought a lot of things for our disguises.”

The full tally included two female evening gowns, wigs, makeup, footwear, and the like. If not for Shooting Star bargaining to cut the price down, just short of cutting the owner down, then the money on hand wouldn’t have been enough to buy all those things in the first place.

Silence fell abruptly.

Shooting Star cooked the bear without a single word. He wiped his hands, pulled off a leg for Bai Saya and Alan, and then tore into the rest of the bear. After he gave a burp, he stood up abruptly, scaring Bai Saya, who was eating next to him.

“Ah! We have no money agaaaaiiiiin!”

After he shouted into the sky, Shooting Star turned in a huff to look at his two pets.

“You!” He pointed at the elf, who was silently eating, “are worth at least twenty thousand gold ducats!”

Then, he turned and pointed at Bai Saya. “You! Mannen said back then that even though you’re not worth as much as an elf, you’re still a catch. Let’s just say that you’re worth five thousand gold ducats!”

“Also!” Shooting Star’s expression was full of grief and indignation as he grabbed his head and shouted, “Old man Glen’s best sword is at least worth nearly twenty thousand gold ducats, right?”

“You wish to sell us?” Alan asked coldly.

“Nonsense!” Shooting Star shot him down. “Among my likes, pets are definitely ahead of good food! I would never sell a pet for the sake of delicious food!”

Beauty over delicacy, Bai Saya inwardly summarized Shooting Star’s fixation.

“I’m just angry! Twenty thousand gold ducats, plus five thousand gold ducats, plus fifteen thousand gold ducats… Oh my god! I have forty thousand gold ducats by me, yet I don’t even have money to buy a bowl of beef noodle soup that costs forty copper ducats. Where. Is. The. Justice. In. This?”

There’s no beef noodle soup, but we can cook bear noodle soup? Bai Saya silently chewed on the bear meat in his mouth. Why do I feel like bear meat should be worth more than beef?

“Is there a problem with food?” The newcomer Alan didn’t understand the situation. He seriously thought about a way to solve the food shortage and suggested, “I can find many things in the forest. Fruits, wild vegetables, mushrooms, and edible seeds are all not a problem. I can also catch fish. We won’t starve.”

Shooting Star didn’t react, but Bai Saya said very happily, “Really? Then, when we don’t have money in the future, we won’t have to keep eating beast meat. We’ll also have vegetables to eat? That’s amazing!”

Alan was taken aback. Only then did he remember that he was holding meat. With the strength of these two people, all they have to do is go hunting, and they wouldn’t starve, so why are they worried about food?

“Shooting Star, did you hear what Alan said?” Bai Saya shook Shooting Star, who was depressed over having no money, and said, moved, “Never again will we have to keep eating only meat when we have no money.”

As far as the elf knew, weren’t people only able to eat meat when they had money? Alan began to doubt if something was wrong with his understanding of humans and their way of life—or was there something wrong with the minds of these two humans?

“I don’t care, I don’t care! I don’t care anymore!” Shooting Star sat his butt down. He shouted and screamed, “I want to go to a restaurant, eat good food, go to an inn, sleep on a soft bed, and take a hot bath!”

Bai Saya could only console him, “There, there, then let’s go to the nearest Adventurers’ Guild and take on a mission. After we complete it, we can sleep at a restaurant and eat at an inn.”

“Okay, the nearest Adventurers’ Guild!” Shooting Star took out a map right away. For his desire of good food, he seriously studied the map.

“Here! A dream city known as the metropolis of the arts! I hear that there are many beautiful dancers there.”

Shooting Star’s eyes shone, but then he said with pity, “Actually, Belle’s true visage was very pretty too, but it’s too bad that she’s a princess. Getting her to be my pet is way too difficult.”

Bai Saya nodded. Belle’s true visage was truly pleasing to the eye. Although she couldn’t compare to Alan, she was definitely better looking than Bai Saya himself.

Thinking of that, he thought something was odd. He couldn’t help but ask, “Shooting Star, I feel that Philo and Dan both look better than I do, so why don’t you want to capture them as pets?”

Even though this question was like digging his own grave, as Bai Saya didn’t want to ignite a desire in Shooting Star to capture the two of them as pets, he couldn’t help his curiosity. Furthermore, this way, he could also figure out Shooting Star’s preferences so that he’d be mentally prepared. In the future, whenever they met people of certain qualities, they could immediately avoid them to prevent Shooting Star from bringing them misfortune.

Shooting Star gave him a weird look and retorted, “Do you rarely look in the mirror or what?”

Bai Saya tilted his head and answered honestly, “I have lived in the mountains with my shifu since I was young. We did not have luxury items like mirrors.”

At the most, he had seen his face reflected in the water’s surface, but of course, that was never all that clear. Besides, Bai Saya had never been someone who cared about appearances.

Shooting Star immediately turned to ask the elf, “Say, Alan, is Xiao Bai pretty?”

“No idea,” Alan answered simply. Even though elves liked beautiful things, they were often very beautiful themselves, and thus their perception of beauty was all fatigued. Something that wasn’t extremely beautiful would not attract their attention.

Shooting Star pondered over it in frustration before he changed tactics. “Then, would you say that Xiao Bai’s eyes are beautiful?”

Upon hearing that question, Alan then scrutinized Bai Saya’s eyes. The latter also stared back at him seriously.

That was a pair of gentle, amber eyes. Whenever Bai Saya looked at someone, he always did so attentively. Stared at by such a pair of eyes, Alan let slip, “Yes.”

“See!” Shooting Star said gleefully, “Even Alan says they’re beautiful. Xiao Bai, I’m telling you, elves have a super duper strict standard of beauty. If they claim something looks nice, then it must be super beautiful!”

So it’s my eyes that look nice? Bai Saya touched his eye and suddenly thought of something. When Shooting Star saw Alan, he immediately requested to touch his golden hair… Don’t tell me that Shooting Star always likes a certain “area” and not the entire person?

Then, what about Belle? Bai Saya couldn’t help blurting, “Then, what part of Belle do you like?”

Bai Saya knew him well, as Shooting Star actually answered with excitement, “The shape of her face! Where else would you find such a cute heart-shaped face?”

He really does like a certain “place?” Bai Saya didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So, what Shooting Star liked was actually “his eyes,” “Alan’s golden hair,” and “the shape of Belle’s face.”

After discussing thus far, Shooting Star could not help but stare at Alan’s hair with regret. In order to avoid getting caught, they had no choice but to disguise him. After all that effort to rescue the elf, he couldn’t even admire that head of beautiful, golden hair.

Shooting Star said vehemently, “When we’ve escaped far enough, we must return your hair to its original color.”

Alan turned his head away. Even though he disliked disguises, if it could prevent the other person from touching his hair, then he would rather continue with the disguise.

“Then, we’re heading to the City of Dreams next?” Bai Saya finally remembered that they had been discussing this earlier.

“Yeah…”

Shooting Star answered casually, but halfway through, his expression changed, and he spun to the side.

“Shooting…” Bai Saya had wanted to ask what was wrong, but before he even got the words out, he saw a black feathered arrow shoot past where Shooting Star had been sitting earlier. Then, it disappeared into the fire that they had been using to keep warm.

In an instant, the Sword of Sacred White and the Crimson Snake Whip both appeared in the hands of their wielders. By now, both of them had already stood up, and Shooting Star asked with a cold voice, “Who are you? What do you want?”

“Hehe, you’re pretty sharp!”

A figure moved among the grass, only around ten meters from where Shooting Star and the others were.

So close, yet none of us were aware. This person is probably super strong! Shooting Star’s heart sank.

Bai Saya growled, “Who are you? Why have you snuck up on us?”

The figure walked out from the grass, clad in a long robe, yet not that of a mage, leaving their profession a mystery. A head of long, silver hair draped across the person’s shoulders. Violet eyes stared at Shooting Star and the others, the person’s facial features particularly bewitching. There was an odd pattern on the person’s face, and that pair of eyes and that lazy attitude obviously indicated that these three people were nothing.

“Demon!” Alan clenched his teeth and growled.

Hearing that, Bai Saya looked at that person in surprise. Or perhaps, he should say that demon. This was the first time he had seen an actual demon. He could not help his curiosity as he took measure of the demon.

This demon looked even more bewitching than Dan, who was half. Although Bai Saya felt it was weird to describe a guy as “bewitching,” other than that word, he couldn’t find a more suitable one.

“I am called Ice Chess.” The demon actually gave his name without prompting, and then smiled beguilingly as he said, “My name probably means nothing to you, but if I tell you that Dan’s father is my older brother, that should mean something, right?”

“Who cares who you are!” Shooting Star completely slighted him and shouted, “That arrow earlier was shot at my back!”

“I was just testing your strength.” Ice Chess’s expression was rather relaxed, as if Shooting Star were making a big deal out of nothing.

Hearing him respond in such a way, Bai Saya didn’t feel happy either. “How can you do that? What if you actually hurt someone?”

Ice Chess shrugged his shoulders and said, “Then, someone gets hurt. Who cares? He’s not the one who matters to Dan.”

“You!” Bai Saya couldn’t believe him. There actually existed someone in this world who would treat hurting others as something inconsequential.

“That’s exactly what to expect of a demon.” Alan coldly said, “Other than what matters to that demon, the demon can casually harm or destroy everything else, even life itself.”

“Even though it’s in your nature to hate us, an elf is an elf, always straight to the point with your words.” Ice Chess sighed. “Unlike humans. When it benefits them, they claim that we’re a race who follows our desires. When it doesn’t benefit them, they say that we’re the incarnation of evil itself, hah!”

Hearing him say this, Shooting Star’s complexion changed. Ice Chess actually knew that Alan was an elf even while in disguise. That meant that Dan was likely also in the know, even though it would always have been a difficult feat to keep him unaware.

“We demons do indeed only care about what we love. We care so much that even when we know the truth, we will choose to lie to others and to ourselves. We would rather list as wanted two beautiful women who never existed in the first place.”

Hearing that, Bai Saya was stumped. He asked, “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean!” Ice Chess snorted coldly. “Did you really think Dan wouldn’t know? Do you know how much effort he spent so that you’d be able to roast meat here instead of eating jail food?!”

Bai Saya moved his mouth but couldn’t say anything back. No matter what, Dan had really helped them a lot, and there was no way for Bai Saya to repay him.

“Honestly speaking, your scheme was not bad. For two children, it was a performance that exceeded expectations.”

Until then, Ice Chess had been leisurely playing with his fingers while he spoke, but following that, his expression suddenly changed, and his voice also hardened. “But you must have known that this would never work on Dan, and it wouldn’t work on the person responsible for the auction site. You were completely banking on Dan’s help in cleaning up the mess!”

Shooting Star’s face froze, but he still forced himself to say, “He likes cleaning it up, so why do you care? Or else, what do you want?”

“To give you three to the Guild?”

Shooting Star and the other two immediately paled.

“No, I can’t. Dan would hate me. That stubborn child so rarely asks me for anything. I have to make it work for him.” Ice Chess had on a conflicted expression. Then, his eyes narrowed dangerously, and he said maliciously, “But I can’t just stand by and watch you use Dan and desert him without a word.”

After saying that, Ice Chess clapped his hands and said, “How about this. Let’s do an exchange.”

This guy cycles through cheer and anger like its nothing. I don’t know if he’s crazy or pretending to be crazy. Shooting Star frowned and then asked, “What’s the deal?”

“This time, Dan was unsuccessful in protecting the auction item. In order not to be punished, he was sent on a mission by the higher ups to that damn Shaosi Continent.” After saying that, Ice Chess shot them a look and said unhappily, “No matter what, this is your responsibility, yes?”

Dan got punished? Bai Saya couldn’t help feeling guilty. After all, Dan had always been helping them, and Bai Saya had only just said that he wished to treat Dan as a friend, yet he had troubled him immediately for the sake of rescuing Alan.

“Do you want us to go with him?”

Shooting Star bluntly hit the nail on the head, yet he was inwardly doubtful. He had originally only hoped for Dan to help delay the inevitable, letting them escape from the city. He hadn’t thought that Dan would directly take care of the entire situation. He’d lost an auction item worth at least twenty thousand gold ducats. Is Dan able to control such a situation?

Dan’s position seems to be more important than I thought. Shooting Star was a little worried. He had only wanted to take advantage of him a bit. He didn’t want to lose his pet over it.

“Exactly!” Ice Chess showed an expression that implied, “You’re so smart.”

Like I thought. Shooting Star hesitated and said, “What if we don’t go along with it?”

“I don’t know what will happen to you, but Dan will definitely buy that amber-eyed human.”

Hmph! You mean that the three of us will all become slaves to be auctioned. Shooting Star suppressed his anger and calmly said, “Then, if we agree, can Alan come with us?”

Ice Chess said as if it were a matter of fact, “Of course. Do you think I’d dare to return the elf to the Guild on my own when the culprits haven’t been caught?”

Hearing that, Shooting Star frowned. For a moment, Shooting Star couldn’t decide if they should agree, or if they should take the opportunity and kill this guy in front of them. If they killed him and got rid of the body, then there would be no evidence…

“Oh right, when you meet up with Dan, remember to bring along my birthday card to him.” Ice Chess took out a “black” birthday card and softly muttered to himself, “In two days, it’ll be Dan’s one hundred and fiftieth birthday. I thought for several days before I got the idea of sending his sweetheart over to travel with him as his gift…”

Dan has reached a hundred and fifty? Shooting Star paled and blurted, “Then, how old are you?”

Now it’s crossed your mind? Ice Chess’s lips curled up and he said teasingly, “I’m an old fart over a thousand years old.”

A demon over a thousand? Shooting Star paled even further. No wonder this guy is so crazy!

Living over a thousand was no small feat. Even though demons lived long, they often died in battle. A demon reaching their one thousandth year was already as rare as the feathers of a phoenix and the horns of a unicorn. But since they didn’t have an elf’s indifference, they often weren’t able to withstand such long years. Therefore, demons over a thousand were nearly always a pain. Because they’d gone crazy, many of them would be sent out by the demon king to the battlefield to get rid of them.

Why do I feel like I’d rather be pursued by the Goldenstyle Merchant Guild than to have the attention of a thousand year old demon? Shooting Star began to regret taking advantage of Dan. In the end, what was free was the most expensive, the cost priceless. It’s not that easy to run into a thousand year old demon!

“Are you going to keep Dan company on his trip to the Shaosi Continent or not?” Ice Chess demanded with a smile.

Shooting Star suddenly began smiling, an innocent and cute expression on his face. Even Bai Saya and Alan who were next to him were stunned.

“Of course! I’ve never gone to the Shaosi Continent in the south! I really want to go!”

“That’s great.” Ice Chess had on a deep smile and asked, “Then, you will do it?”

“Of course!” Shooting Star accepted right away. Between the Shaosi Continent and a thousand year old demon, is the choice even hard?

Ice Chess stopped smiling and said flatly, “Good, now go back to Shore City and find Dan. You won’t be fugitives anymore.”

After he said that, he walked up to Bai Saya, who was still wary, but all he did was hand the black card to Bai Saya. Then, he solemnly said, “Remember, you must give this to Dan yourself.”

Bai Saya was stumped. He glanced at Shooting Star. Upon seeing no disagreement in the latter’s eyes, he then reached his hand out to take the card.

“If you can give him a kiss, I would be even more grateful.” Ice Chess waggled his eyebrows at Bai Saya teasingly.

Bai Saya paled.

“I’m kidding. Hehe, but if you’re willing, that would be amazing.” After laughingly saying his piece, he slowly backed up a step. White light pulsed from his body, and then his entire person turned into light, instantly flying away from this place.

Shooting Star stared at that beam of light. After a long while, he finally said, “Good thing I didn’t attack him. A thousand year old demon…”

“He is very strong.” Alan finally relaxed his fists. In order to keep his hatred of demons at bay, his hands had been clenched into fists, and his own nails left streaks of blood.

The three of them were silent for a while. Shooting Star could only helplessly say, “Guess we can’t go to the City of Dreams anymore.”

At this time, Bai Saya opened his mouth to say, “Helping Dan is good.” After all, they owed Dan too many favors.

“Xiao Bai!” Shooting Star suddenly placed both of his hands on his pet’s shoulders. With a serious face, he said, “You must bear with it! Even if Dan does this or that to you, you have to bear with it!”

This or that? He already said last time that he wants to be friends with me. Bai Saya didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Shooting Star had tears in his eyes as he said, “But, don’t worry, Xiao Bai. Even if you can’t keep chaste, I won’t look down on a pet like you. But, how about occasionally throwing a bone to Dan and getting him to gift me and Alan delicious food? After all, I am your owner!”

What kind of owner are you?! Bai Saya lifted his fist, which was pulsing with throbbing veins.

“Ouch! Stupid Xiao Bai. You actually dared to hit me on the head! You disobedient pet! Ouch, ouch! Stop hitting me! Sob! I’m sorry, okay…”

Sigh! Alan stood up silently, the reason being that he had glimpsed a piece of clothing about to get blown away by the wind. He walked to the clothing rack built from branches and silently hung the shirt again, to prevent everyone from having to wear clothing speckled with dirt on the morrow.

However, the elf did not notice Bai Saya shooting him a sympathetic look. He too had started from silently picking up Shooting Star’s clothes. Then, he ended up as a nanny who washed underwear, earned money for food, solved all sorts of problems, and even had to capture pets.

  1. Kamui

    At this point I am wondering if dragons in this world come in gold and whether they are considered pretty, cause at the rate we are going (human>elf>demon/half-demon>whatever other dangerous, gorgeous creature>unicorns/sparkly, gold dragon) they need to find steadily more problematic pets. Do things like celestials exist in this world? It is called GOD…
    Whatever, thanks PR peoples!

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