No Hero V4C1: Rest in Peace, the Audiobooks are Back (April Fools Version)

Many readers were enraged and dismayed that we did not replace our text chapters with audiobooks back in 2012. After listening to your feedback, we have decided to reconsider our stance on the matter. We sincerely hope you enjoy this drama CD-style reenactment of No Hero V4C1.

Disclaimers: There were some complaints previously about characters not receiving their own individual voice actors, which has been fixed in this rendition. To improve flow and retain listeners’ interest, some liberties were taken with the chapter to create a script better suited for a drama CD-type recording. There may be some discrepancies between the recording and the script itself. Voice cracks were purely accidental and not masterfully timed to incite rage.

Voice Actors: Ah Da (clrfction), Ah Ye (EvlNabiki), Aren (Trespasserby), Bramble (Lala Su), Briar (raylight), Charles (Nimue), Curtis (Elisa), Dell (AkaiiRia), Ji Luo Chu (lucathia), May (Amgine), Melody (Kiyutsuna), Narrator (Elisa/Dahlys)

Special thanks given to Elkin for adapting the chapter into a script and Dahlys for compiling all the voices and sound effects together. There were a lot of files.

Drama CD No Hero V4C1 Script

Narrator: No Hero Volume 4: The Castle of Vampires
Original novel in Chinese by Yu Wo
Lost Article of the Ancient Castle Chapter 1:  Dragon Peace, the First Wind Blows Past – translated by Raylight

Aren: An Xiang Ye was actually Dark Sun.

It was not as if I had never suspected him before, since we were in the same class. After all, silver hair was simply too rare.

But both Leanna and Abner didn’t think so. They said that they saw An Xiang Ye studying earnestly in class every day, unlike me, who was sleeping in practically every class. If he was actually Dark Sun, he’d have to go out to patrol at night. But since there was so much crime all the time, he wouldn’t be able to attend classes earnestly like that in the daytime.

I agreed with this too. To go out patrolling every night was simply too tiring. If Leanna and Abner didn’t always drag me to school, I’d probably skip classes nine out of ten days.

Therefore, An Xiang Ye, who would always score full marks on tests, hand in reports that were as thick as a book and never slept in class, should not be Dark Sun.

In the end, he really did end up being Dark Sun.

According to Charles-gē, once An Xiang Ye returned home, the first thing that he would do was complete his homework. Then, he would give his brother a call and talk. Some days, he would go and modify some machines, which was his hobby. Then, he would go to sleep at ten and wake up at five to go running… What kind of crazy life was this?

If something were to happen in the night, he would still have to become Dark Sun and go out to resolve the issue… Did he not need to sleep?

I think An Xiang Ye isn’t just Dark Sun- he’s practically an alien!

Ah Ye: I’m going to Charles’ house to play!

Mr. Bramble: You’re bringing the young master into vampire territory?

Charles: That is not it. I am going back to the butler household of the Elysees Family.

Mr. Brambles: Elysees? You’re from the Elysees Family?

Charles: Indeed.

Dell: Pffft! Oh my god! Elysees!

Ah Ye: What is with the Elysees Family? Why are you all so shocked?

May: Young Master, Elysees is a very famous family. Though they do not stand out and are not a famous economic organization, they are an influential family of butlers with the longest history amongst all butlers. Almost all of the families that are even a little known will hire butlers from that family. There’s even a saying that goes like, ‘If you don’t have a butler from the Elysees family, you can’t be considered a truly influential household!’

Dell: Therefore, the influence of the Elysees family spreads throughout the whole world! Everyone knows that if you’re seeking death, go and aggravate the Sun Emperor, Church or Elysees. You’re bound to die with one hundred percent certainty!

Ah Ye: Oh, oh!

Mr. Bramble: Are you from the main family or the branch family?

Charles: I am the head of the family in name. Madam Sadina, who is currently managing the affairs of the family, is actually the surrogate head. However, the number of people who knows about this is less than ten, it is probable that not even the Sun Emperor is aware of this.

Dell: Mr. Butler. Sir, I must let you know that the usual fooling around with you is for the sake of creating a bit more entertainment in life. Retorting at you is for the sake of making the young master happy, and when I commonly knock over the drinks and make you clean up the floor, it is because exercise is good for the body and soul… Actually, I truly respect and love you sir!

Ah Ye: Pfffttt!

Mr. Bramble: What the heck, everyday we discover dangerous secrets. The Sun Emperor, Elysees… As long as we don’t find out something about the Church! Otherwise, this apartment would basically be the most dangerous place in the world!

May: If that is the case, your status is not lower than that of the young master’s. Though the influence of the Elysees Family probably still cannot compete with the Sun Emperor, you are the head while the young master is merely the Sun Emperor’s little brother.

Charles: I really am not considered the head anymore. It is highly unlikely that anyone would listen to me unless it was under Sadina’s orders to do so. [pause, slight amusement?] Rather than showing me respect, you should respect Curtis a little more. He is Sadina’s grandson, and is also the next surrogate head. He is the truly influential one here.

Ah Ye: Last time, when Curtis was in charge of taking care of me, Dell kept fussing about how his breakfast didn’t have the least bit of variety, and said that his expression was like that of a wooden puppet. He even said that his style of spectacles was outdated, and a lot of other things… Hahaha!

Mr. Bramble: When are we going over?

Charles: In three days.

Ah Ye: Three days? Then there are a lot of things to do! I have to go and tell Luo Chu-gē that the advertisements have to be postponed, and I have to go adjust DSII. He’s recently spent too much time as a car and cannot control human shapes as well as before. I have to re-adjust him before he can pretend to be Dark Sun. I also have to go report to my brother… Oh right, I have to inform Aren too.

Charles: Why don’t we get Aren to come along? He needs a distraction.

Ah Ye: Mm… Sure.

Mr. Bramble: Then I will stay guard over here, in case any emergencies might happen. May, you stay here with me.

May: Okay.

Ah Ye: That’s right, there’s still Briar! Bramble-shū, can I bring Briar along?

Mr. Bramble: That’s fine. It saves me the trouble of having that child pester me all day to go out and play.”

Ah Ye: I’m full. Now it’s time to go look for everyone! First of all, the nearest one is… Aren. Charles, could you go with me?

Charles: Very well.

Ah Ye: Aren, we are going to travel. Do you want to come with us?

Aren: Where to?

Ah Ye: Charles’s house.

Aren: Sure, let me put on some pants.

Aren: Let’s go.

Ah Ye: Oh. Okay, let’s go!

Ah Ye: Melody, Melody, can you lend me your car? I want to take Charles and Aren to Luo Chu-gē’s studio.

Melody: Young Master, I’m so sleepy!

Ah Ye: If you’re sleepy, then go to bed!

Melody: Alright! Then accompany me in bed. You have to strip naked!

Aren: [sharp breath]

Ah Ye: But the metal cabin can’t fit two people, right? The width wouldn’t allow for two.

Melody: It’s tall enough! If we lie on top of each other, it’ll fit!

Aren: I think I have a nosebleed…

Charles: Young Master, I believe that Melody might have gone to the nightclub yesterday, and is hence drunk. Please wait for a short moment. I’ll go put her in bed, and come out with the car keys.

Charles: We may go now.

Ah Ye:

Charles: Young Master, may I ask if there is something improper on me?

Aren: [snigger]

Ah Ye: C-Charles, on your face, there are a ton of lipstick marks!

Aren: B-but I thought all vampires lived in ancient castles in the mountains?

Charles: The trip will be happening in three days. Right now, we are merely looking for someone. The young master is filming commercials, and this is his workplace.

Aren: Ah. Sorry, I kind of blanked out.

Charles: Is it because you woke up too early? May I inquire as to what time do you usually get out of bed?

Aren: The earliest is nine-thirty! I always sleep really late at night, and I’m really tired…

Charles: I see.

Ah Da: Ji Luo Chu is most likely still sleeping in his bed. But since he lives upstairs, just for call him and ask him to come down.

Ah Ye: Luo Chu-ge!

Ji Luo Chu: [groan]

Charles: Coffee, anyone?

Aren, Ji Luo Chu, Ah Da: Mm. At least two.

Ah Ye: Here’s what we’re planning to do. We’re going to Charles’ home… What do you think?

Ji Luo Chu: You are going to travel?

Ah Ye: I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for, but I’ll definitely be back before school re-opens.

Ji Luo Chu: Oh, is that so? Traveling seems really nice…

Ah Da: You’re going traveling? Do you know how many commercials there are to shoot? Even if we didn’t waste any time to re-charge, we still wouldn’t be able to finish!

Ji Luo Chu: You’re going traveling?!

Charles: Recently, we have been doing a lot of commercials, so it’s high time that we should be taking a break.

Ji Luo Chu: The commercials aren’t the problem! It’s fine even if we make those people requesting for commercials wait! But, if you were to go traveling, then how are we going to deal with the east district? Moreover, Dragon Peace doesn’t appear in the daytime. You can’t possibly expect me to oversee the eastern, western and southern districts during the day, do you? Recently, Ah Da has been busy turning the photos taken last time into print commercials, and doesn’t have any spare time to help me monitor the surveillance cameras. How am I supposed to take care of three-quarters of Sunset City by myself? Even half would be pushing it!

Aren: What did you say?

Ah Ye: Ah.

Ji Luo Chu: Who are you? Ah Ye? Is this someone that you brought?

Charles: This is Aren, the young master’s classmate in university. At the same time, he is also who you know as the ‘The Beast, Dragon Peace.’

Ji Luo Chu and Ah Da: HUH?!

Charles: This person here is Ji Luo Chu, the young master’s photographer. He is also who you know as ‘The Aristocrat, Initial Wind.’

Aren: W-what?!

Charles: As of this moment, we are just lacking of Solitary Butterfly to gather The Four Great Heroes in this work room.

Ah Ye: Sorry, I forgot that you two didn’t know each other’s identities.

Ji Luo Chu: Never mind about it, never mind. Anyways, I’ve been wanting to know Dragon Peace’s identity for quite some time. We have been working together for a while now, but I couldn’t figure out his identity, piquing my interest. Therefore, Ah Ye, you have answered a very big question of mine!

Aren: Are you really First Wind?

Ji Luo Chu: Yes. I didn’t think that Dragon Peace would actually be so young. I originally thought that you should be about the same age as me, for you tend to handle situations rationally, and not recklessly like teenagers tend to do.

Aren: Thank you.

Ji Luo Chu: I wasn’t praising you, just merely stating the truth.

Aren: No, I’m really thankful to you.

Ji Luo Chu: You’re really too polite, haha…

Aren: Thank you for saving me.

Aren: In a robbery case five years ago, I was held hostage by the robbers. Once they left the area sealed off by the police, they pushed me off the cliff at the side of the highway. You climbed down to save me, and sent me to the hospital. You even got swamped by the media because of that, and nearly couldn’t escape…

Ji Luo Chu: You were the high-schooler who was roaring in front of the media to seek revenge for your mother?

Aren: You remembered me?

Ji Luo Chu: Yeah. When I read the news, it said that your father had had an early demise, and your mother had died under the gun of the robbers at that time. I was only a little, tiny bit worried. So I asked around a bit about your life, and know that you received compensation money from the insurance company and were able to get by with it. That’s all.

Ah Da: That’s all? If you didn’t find out about the compensation money, you would have wanted to go and adopt a son in high-school at the mere age of twenty-three.

Ah Da: Ow!

Aren: Thank you…

Ji Luo Chu: It’s no problem! I-I didn’t do much, just merely saved you. H-Heroes are supposed to save people anyways! As for the matter of adoption, I only thought about it, but didn’t really go and do so in the end. So don’t listen to Ah Da’s nonsense! I-I’m not that good-hearted! I already have a little brother, Luo Lun. If I added you, then I’d just have another little brother. Though having another one wouldn’t be much difference, b-but there’s still a diff- Ahhhh! What am I saying!

Ah Da: [long laughter]

Ah Ye: [laughing softly at the same time as Ah Da]

Aren: [sniggering shortly after Ah Da starts laughing]

Aren: I became acquainted with Leanna and Abner when I was in high-school. We were in different classes, so I wasn’t very familiar with them. However, they were famous for being research maniacs, and the entire school knew about them. At that time, my mother, s-she was killed by the robber firing a gun at her. The only one I had left, my mother… For the sake of revenge, I begged Leanna and Abner to use the medicine that was still in testing on me. But they refused. I was the one who had stolen the medicine while they weren’t paying attention, and then used it on myself.

Ji Luo Chu: So that is how it is. I still remember, Dragon Peace’s first appearance was to catch those kidnappers that had escaped, and throw them into the police station.

Ah Ye: You didn’t kill them?

Aren: I wanted to… I really wanted to kill them! I beat them up a lot, I couldn’t stop. I wanted to beat them to death! B-But Leanna and Abner stopped me, or else I definitely would have killed them!

Ji Luo Chu: You have done very well. Let the law punish them!

Aren: Yeah.

Ah Ye: Is that so? But if someone killed my brother, I would definitely kill them. No one would be able to stop me.

Ji Luo Chu: Ah Ye!

Aren: Ah Ye, are you also only left with your brother?

Ah Ye: Yes.

Aren: But are you not scared of taking a life? No, wait. That’s right, you have already killed someone before… How did it feel the first time you killed someone?

Ah Ye: The first person that I killed was my father.

Aren, Ah Da, Ji Luo Chu: [gasp]

Ah Ye: As for how did it feel… At first, it was extremely painful. Afterwards, there was a long period of time when my only thought was that I had ’no regrets.’ In the end, I was very upset, very upset…

Aren: Then… Do you regret it now?

Ah Ye: No! I had to kill my father. For the sake of protecting my brother, I had to kill him! I will never regret, and cannot regret… I definitely do not regret doing so!

Charles: Young Master.

Ah Ye: Though I was very upset, I do not regret it. Even if my father were to come back to life once more, I would kill him again. Because if my father were to hurt my brother, I would be very, very upset. In the absence of a happy choice, I can only choose the option that would make me less sad… Was it right to do so? Luo Chu-gē, was that right?

Ji Luo Chu: Um… uh…

Charles: Young Master.

Ah Ye: Mm?

Charles: Your milk.

Ah Ye: Oh.

Charles: Young Master, I have a suggestion that I would like you to hear. After visiting my family, should we go and visit the master?

Ah Ye: That’s right! I nearly forgot to go and see my brother. No wonder the last time when I called back, he kept asking me what I was going to do next. Good thing that you reminded me, or my brother is going to sulk again. Hmm, it’s best to bring a present back. Every time he receives a present, my brother looks so happy!

Charles: How about you give the X-Killer catalogue from last time to the master?

Ah Ye: Okay!

Charles: Then, when the young master and Aren are not around, I’ll have to trouble you to please look after Sunset City.

Ji Luo Chu: No problem… Ah!

Ji Luo Chu: Y-You’re saying that both Ah Ye and Aren are going traveling? T-Then doesn’t it mean that both ’Dark Sun’ and ’Dragon Peace’ are going on vacation? So during the night, Dragon Peace won’t be around to help me look after the southern part of town? So I have to look after the east, west and south for the entire day? Ahhhhh before you all go for vacation, you might as well kill me first!

Ah Ye: Oh? Really?

Ji Luo Chu: A-Ah Ye, I was joking…

Ah Ye: So was I.

Charles: Please do not worry. DSII will take over as Dark Sun so he will not be absent during this period.

Ji Luo Chu: Fine, but on two conditions. One, before you leave on vacation, Ah Ye must film commercials all day and night! And two, while we’re shooting these commercials, Dragon Peace, Melody and DSII have to look after the western, eastern and southern parts of Sunset City!

Narrator: Three days later.

Ah Ye: Yippee! Yay!

Ji Luo Chu and Ah Da: Ah, I want to die. So tired…

Charles: Young Master, after filming without rest for three days straight, you ought to be tired, right? Would you like to rest for a while before we leave?

Ah Ye: I still slept for an hour everyday, though I didn’t sleep on the first day because I had to adjust DSII. But I’m not tired! This is only a light exercise, so I can even go for five days without sleep, and my bodily functions will not be affected. Okay, we’re going now! Bye bye!

Ah Da: B-bye…

Ji Luo Chu: [snoring]

Ah Ye: We’re here!

Melody: You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m not sitting in that car! That’s it! I’m going to drive my own car!

Charles: Melody, may I persuade you to reconsider? I believe Curtis has arranged for an ordinary looking car for Young Master’s safety. Since your car is too eye-catching, if any non-humans or humans were to follow us, it would cause us a lot of trouble.

Curtis: Master Endelis, we will go and take the car out of the city now. Afterwards, we will transfer onto a small aircraft back to our family territory.

Charles: Very well.

Charles: Young Master, please get into the car.

Ah Ye and Briar: [laughter]

Ah Ye: Charles.

Charles: Yes, Young Master. What might you need of me?

Ah Ye: Hurry up and come on! Dell says we’re tossing dice and betting on whether it’s big or small, and you’re going to be the dealer!

Charles: Very well.

Ah Ye: What are we going to bet on?

Briar: Hehe, how about the person who loses goes and kisses Uncle Curtis on the face?

Curtis: [disgruntled sound]

Ah Ye: Then the winner can go and kiss Melody-jiě on the cheek! Is that okay?

Melody: Even on the lips is fine!

Dell: Then I’m definitely going to win!

Ah Ye: We’re here!

Briar: Yay!

Charles: Curtis, may I inquire as to where the aircraft is?

Curtis: My sincere apologies, Master Endelis. Something appears to have happened to the aircraft. Please allow me to contact the control tower.

Curtis: Mm. Master Endelis, please excuse me a moment while I visit the control tower.

Ah Ye: Curtis’s mouth pursed together one millimeter, and the space between his brows decreased by two millimeters. He seems to be a little unhappy! What’s wrong?

Charles: It is because the aircraft is late. Being a butler, Curtis ought to have arranged for the transport to arrive before the master. The master’s time is absolutely not to be wasted. Therefore, no matter what the reason is for the aircraft being delayed, it is still his mistake. But since I was the one who handed over the arrangements to Curtis to deal with, this is also considered my mistake. I am truly sorry for wasting the young master’s time.

Ah Ye: That’s fine! We’re not in a rush, so it’s fine even if we have to wait a while.

Briar: The plane is coming, the plane is coming! Look over there, the plane is flying so low to the ground!

Ah Ye: There’s something not quite right with the plane!

Ah Ye: Charles! The plane didn’t open up its wheels! It won’t be able to land like this…

Ah Ye: Curtis!

Curtis: Master Endelis!

Ah Ye: Charles, y-you’re really fast! Here, let me help you up.

Ah Ye: Charles, call the ambulance. Dragon Peace!

Aren: Magical Girl Aren, transform!!!