English Translation of the Joke Site

Okay, so PR! decided as a whole to turn the front page into Chinese for April Fools. We originally wanted to just translate everything that was on the site, but I (dahlys) wrote this random story and it ended up being used the the contents for the joke site. The title is “The Legend of Prince” and it’s a combination of the Chinese titles for 1/2 Prince and LSK. The actual contents are based on the “This is not a beauty pageant” tournament, except this is the “This IS a beauty pageant” tournament version. Enjoy!

p.s. If you want to hear more of PR!’s voices (besides Amgine and myself), they are floating around on the web somewhere and you might chance upon it XD

Disclaimer (please read):

1. All the copyrights of ½ Prince, The Legend of Sun Knight and The Legend of Prince are belong to Yu Wo.
2. Do not use this translation to earn money! The God of Fortune will curse you!
3. Trashes who dare to copy even a single word from this website and post it on any other site, forum, or irc will definitely be struck by lighting and punished by Heaven!
4. If you want to share this work, please inform us. (Although you have no chance of success)

If you don’t follow the rules, I’ll tell your mom! If you discover anyone flouting the rules, please kill them. Should you have any questions, go GOOGLE the answer yourself.

I’m sick of writing this, hurry up and continue reading!

Note: Yes, the disclaimer is not supposed to make sense. “A single word” is correct. “Are belong” is also correct because “All the copyrights are belong to Yu Wo”.

The Legend of Prince 

A new series by the bestselling author of “1/2 Prince” and “The Legend of Sun Knight”, Yu Wo!

Who will make the best prince?

Eh? This is absolutely not a beauty contest!

Contestant No. 1: Blood Elf—Prince

“When women see him, they want to own him. When men see him, they want to kill him. Welcome the white-haired and red-eyed super bishie, the Blood Elf Prince onstage! Blood Elf, please introduce yourself.”

“I’m hungry…”

A random fan in the audience shrieked, “Being hungry is unhealthy! Come here, I have a lot of tofu for you to eat!”

Note: “eating someone’s tofu” means “taking sexual advantage of them” in Chinese. This is a pun on food and flirting. That fan is implying that Prince is “hungry” for…the activity associated with reproduction.

Contestant No. 2: Sun Knight—Grisia Sun

“The next contestant is…the world famous Sun Knight of the Church of the God of Light, Grisia Sun! He has a head of golden-blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, a benevolent personality, and a smile so dazzling it is without equal. So, I’ve heard that you are most like the legendary Sun Knight, what do you have to to say about this?”

“Under the radiance of the God of Light, Sun only does his best to spread the teachings of the God of Light. As the saying goes, the good are rewarded and the evil are punished. The God of Light teaches us that we must be magnanimous, and forgive all sins. Sun really does not deserve to be compared to the legendary Sun Knight. Sun only hopes to serve everyone, so that, under the blessing of the God of Light, everyone in the whole world will live a fulfilling and happy life.”

Passerby A mumbled to himself, “I don’t understand what this guy is saying at all…”

Contestant No. 3: Bard—Guileastes

“Now, I present the incredibly handsome literary genius, Guileastes! Please tell everyone, what type of woman do you like?”

“She must be good at cooking, have no sense of direction, and be a bit silly. However, she must also be independent and have her own stand on issues. As for looks, she should have white hair and red eyes. Most importantly, she must hit me in just the right way, so that I feel really good.” *

Passerby B exclaimed in shock, “What the heck, is this person a masochist?”

Passerby C replied, “No, he’s gay. Listen closely, isn’t that a description of the Blood Elf Prince?”

Lolidragon could not help but splutter. Actually, isn’t Gui BOTH a masochist and a homosexual? (evil laugh)

* “He” and “she” sound exactly the same in Chinese, so that’s why B doesn’t know that Gui is talking about a guy.

Contestant No. 4: Earth Knight—Georgo Earth

“He is honest, loyal, and kind. He has a strong and muscular build, and is the most dependable person ever. Who is this person who gets first place in the “Men Women Want Most as Their Husbands” poll every year? Of course, it the Earth Knight of the Church of the God of Light! Because this perfect husband-to-be is very shy, please applaud to help him calm down and give him the courage to come onstage!”

“H-Hello. I-I am the Earth Knight of the Church of the God of Light. Please g-give me your guidance.” The Earth Knight suddenly blushed furiously and bowed his head, looking very nervous.

“Earth Knight?”

The audience unanimously shouted, “S-So cute! Although he has a sturdy build (i.e. not your typical girly bishie), he is really gentle! I love him~”

“Ah! I suddenly r-remembered that there is a large cake in the Holy Temple. I-I can’t possibly eat it all by myself, so could you l-ladies please help me finish it?”

“Definitely! I will do anything you say, handsome!”

The Ice Knight muttered to himself, “So this is why he asked me to bake a large cake for him yesterday…”

Georgo thought, YES! The “Cheat on Many Beauties” plan is a great success! Although there are a few ugly dragons among these women, all I have to do is ignore them.

Contestant No. 5: Battousai—Kenshin

“The super strong hero of “Rurouni Kenshin” has returned! This Kenshin is proud, indifferent, and incomparably cool. He loves to sit in a quiet place drinking tea the most—what a calm and beautiful scene that is! However, on the battlefield, Kenshin instantly turns into a heartless weapon of mass destruction. He is inhumanely strong! Kenshin, please say some words to everyone!”

“…”

Silence~

Passerby D asked, “He is a cool, strong, and handsome superman. However, doesn’t Kenshin already have Kaoru?”

Lolidragon explained, “Kaoru died, so Kenshin needs a new woman to treat the depression caused by missing her too much.”

“I see.”

“How can you believe what she says? Kenshin is mine~” Cold Fox said, pouting indignantly.

EEEHHHHHHHH?

Contestant No. 6: Son of the God of War—Mike

“Wow! Yet another strong and famous person! This time it’s the man who is famous for failing to marry a princess. Hailing from the Monastery of the God of War, I present to you the Son of the God of War!”

“What did you say? Go to hell! I will make a much better husband than the Earth Knight who went before me! At least, the Monastery of the God of War has money so I can guarantee that no woman of mine will ever starve to death. This is something those Twelve Holy Knights can never accomplish with their measly pay. Also, I don’t have to correct work documents, so I can spend time with you every night.”

The Storm Knight said, “Why does it feel like that last statement was directed at me?”

“Only a clumsy and violent woman would like that pig-brained idiot who knows nothing besides fighting!” Sun whispered confidently.

Princess Ann sneezed. Is someone talking about me behind my back?

Still, no matter how tragic the Son of the God of War’s love story is, he can’t possibly be in a worse situation than the Sun Knight, who can only love God and not women, right?

Contestant No. 7: Mystery Man

“Who is the mystery man? Heehee, let me tell you, the mystery man is…”

“Me!” A muscled man who looked like a bodybuilder stepped out from backstage. He was wearing a black suit with black sunglasses.

“Do you think you are an actor in “Men in Black”? Remove those sunglasses! Eh? The Mystery Man shouldn’t be a bodybuilder, where is the real person?”

“Exactly who are you referring to? I have already beaten up all the rest of the candidates backstage, including Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Donnie Yen.”

The audience shouted, “Take. Off. Your. Sunglasses! Only a coward would hide his face!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll take them off.”

OMG, he actually had eyes like the girls in shoujo manga? The audience fell down in disbelief.

“Wow, all of you seem so excited. There’s hope for me! Pretty lady, I love you! Please be my girlfriend!”

Who are you talking to? How could you pull off an AOE confession!?

Just like that, Undying Man was simultaneously rejected 4444444 times and his name was immediately featured on the front page of the Guinness Book of World Records.

Ten seconds later, all that was left on the stage was a heap of rotten eggs and decayed vegetables. Undying Man, who was buried under this heap of trash, finally received the first flower of his life. That is, a lone white rose on his grave.

Will Undying Man be so touched by this that he becomes an undead?

“Women of the world, run away! Undead Man is catching up!”

Note: AOE = Area of Effect. “4” sounds similar to “death” in Chinese so 4 is often thought to be an unlucky number. Undying Man/Undead Man: Another play on words. 不死男 can be taken to mean either “Undying Man” or “Undead Man”.

Now that that’s over, how do you think characters would react if they were sent on stage and pressurized by the announcer? Write them down in the comments!

41 comments on this post.
  1. Demoninmysoul:

    OMG!!! It’s brilliant!!! I’d totally sneak backstage on this contest if I could!!! Thanks for writing and sharing it in english!!! :)

  2. D@yw@lker:

    Thanks for the translation :)
    here’s my try…

    Contestant Nr. 8: The Ice Knight

    “The super handsome Man of the Cold hearted faction. Can you feel his icy gaze burning itself deep into your heart? I just like it when they give me the cold shoulder *floating hearts*. But lets see if we can get him to smile for us. Mr. Ice Knight please give us a big warm smile!”
    “…”
    “Oh come on, just give us a little grin for your die hard fans. Won’t you just smile a little for us oh Mr. handsome Ice Knight?”

    *whuusch (sound of cold wind blowing)*

    Back-up Moderator: “We’re very sorry for the disturbance and will continue with our next contestant in just a minute after we cleared away the… well… let’s just call it a nice artistic rendition of ‘The living popsicle…’. We’ll be right back after just a short commercial break.”

  3. lulumoon:

    “Next up on the stage is the most popular Cloud Knight. This Holy Knight . . . Eeh? What happened? Where did he go? Does anyone know where he went? He was here just a while ago! I just saw him! Am I seeing things? (Turns around) Aaagh! When did you get behind me?! Eeh? Where did all these books come from?”

  4. meow:

    Thanks for the translation.

  5. Cesium:

    Rotten eyes? 0_0

  6. 15B:

    XD AOE confession?!

    *shudder* I think I’d pass attending an event like that. I’d end up spending all my money on tissues for nosebleeds, most likely…

  7. Jasae Bushae:

    woot for the undying man XD

    hmm..i imagine storm would probably win at this XD
    get to the swim suit competition totally not a beauty pagent~

  8. dahlys:

    @lulumoon
    LOL I can totally imagine that.

    Cloud builds an igloo made of books because there are no cabinets/bookcases for him to hide in, then floats behind the unsuspecting announcer who is looking for him. He taps the announcer on the shoulder nervously.

    “Hmm, is someone there?” The announcer turned around but saw nobody.

    “I’m right over here…” said a whooshy voice in the wind. The Cloud Knight suddenly materialized right in front of the announcer’s face!

    “AAHHHHHHH! IT’s A GHOOOOSST!” The announced shrieked and fainted on the spot.

  9. dahlys:

    @D@yw@lker
    Continuation:

    During the break

    Grisia mumbles, “Is anyone going to eat that delicious mountain of blueberry shaved ice on the stage?”
    Exasperated, Judgment whispered, “Please don’t do that. I’ll go buy some blueberry pie for you later, ok?”
    “Yay! And I wouldn’t do that anyway, it’s not elegant.” Grisia suddenly felt a shiver down his spine as he thought of what his teacher would do to him should he find out. No matter how tempting Ice’s delicious dessert was, his life was much more important!
    Did he say that just so I would buy blueberry pie for him? This cunning fox! Judgement thought to himself.

  10. dahlys:

    @Cesium
    That’s a typo, and it’s fixed now. How did eggs become eyes!? *facepalm*

  11. Hagane Kuragari:

    Why isn’t Storm and Wicked there T.T
    I like it, great job! You gave me a fright when I saw the site before. I thought Prince Revolution disbanded. Thank god.

  12. Anonnie:

    I see what you did there.

    All your base are belong to us.

  13. 15B:

    @Jasae Bushae
    Have pity on Knight-Captain Storm! Although he absolutely would win, it would be at the cost of his eyesight! How will Knight-Captain Storm be able to do paperwork if he’s blind?!

    What about the Church of the God of Light’s pillars?! THE PILLARS! NOOOOO!!! They’ll be destroyed!

  14. Winter:

    @dahlys
    XD you got to admit it, thats an epic Mistake

  15. Winter:

    @Jasae Bushae
    I actually think he would die from it. I mean he nearly did at the castle and now a huge area, were probably the audi is like 99.8% female

  16. dahlys:

    @Jasae Bushae
    Now I want to do Storm, and the lolicon battle “The Pope vs. Ming Huang”…

  17. Jasae Bushae:

    @dahlys
    lolicons?! XD i somehow suspect theres spoilers to be had in that sentence XD

    but yay fer storm~

  18. eilinel:

    @Winter
    I second that XD.

  19. Ice Cream~:

    @dahlys
    methinks it’s shotacon, unless they got turned into girls somehow…which would still be very amusing. :D

  20. kittikiti:

    I fell for it multiple times… :( l

  21. Starwarrior:

    Last year’s April Fool’s was a little bit better. Remember ‘Friday’? Ah, nostalgic.

  22. Jasae Bushae:

    @Ice Cream~
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shotacon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolicon
    the terms dont mean with the appearance of a small boy or girl it means someone with an attraction to those characteristics XD

  23. 15B:

    ^.^ Thank you for the joke site. I can now listen to my mother read the short stories in Chinese. (Which means, if she starts telling me about how wonderful my Mandarin textbook is and how I should read it, I can distract her by asking her to read those for me! Maybe I’ll actually learn something…)

  24. dahlys:

    @15B
    Oh my god of light you got your mom to read that?
    -dahlys chokes and runs far, far away~~~-

  25. rei:

    i cant believe i fell for that….i mean i cant remember the last time i heard about april fool
    i use a different computer early this month and when i open PR! , it was in chinese
    i really thought there was something wrong with that computer…
    anyway it was really good, i had a good laughed when i realise about it :)
    (that is after it was change into english)

  26. Rune:

    I was in china over April Fools Day and…I fell for it thinking that the unicode had changed with the country

    (<o.o<) Mew~ I fell for it completely~ Love you alll!!!!!!!!!

  27. 15B:

    @dahlys
    >.> Just the Mandarin version of “For You All”… Not the joke site!

    I don’t think she really understood what was going on in that short story. T.T

  28. erialis:

    Since Eili has disallowed comments for the other post, I have to post it here: waitasecprincerevandyowoshareabirthdaykindasorta?

    This is about two weeks early, but i’ve been rather forgetful lately, so: Happy Birthday, PR!

  29. eilinel:

    ERI!!!!! Well PR! and Yu Wo birthday are in the same month…if you insist we share birthday…then ok XD. Good thing you decided to post the first post in April back then? lol.

  30. erialis:

    @eilinel

    PR started around the 25th, so at least shared “birthweek”? XD

  31. D@yw@lker:

    @erialis
    Well then… Congratz guys / girls ! :)

  32. 15B:

    @erialis
    *flips through the bunch of pages on the Homepage of previous posts*
    (There’s so many Older Posts to click…)
    *finally finds the oldest of the Older Posts*
    April 24th… So PR! was created on April the 24th or earlier than that!
    The first chapter of 1/2 Prince was posted the very next day… Q.Q This is so touching… You’re all such dedicated people…

  33. 15B:

    Contestant No. N: Strangely Dressed — Hell Knight
    “We are happy to introduce the Hell Knight! No matter what type of outfit he is wearing, (doesn’t that look TOO suspicious?) you fangirls all cannot deny he could make any woman from ages 8 to 80 faint! This mysterious character has only shown up recently! We hope you may all get to know him better! Hell Knight, would you like to say anything?”
    A fangirl suddenly squeeed before the Hell Knight could utter a word. “Why would anyone wear a mask…? Unless they’re too handsome! TAKE HIS MASK OFF!” The chant was taken up and fangirls began to try swarming up the stage, but were held in check by randomly shot AoE moves. Beautiful white fireworks filled the sky.
    The Hell Knight walked off the stage.
    “Tyler, what was the meaning of that?”
    The rest of the Hell Knight Platoon dared not tell their captain they had wanted to see if he really wasn’t interested in girls. Their captain was such a righteous(pitiful) person. He didn’t drink, didn’t date, didn’t brawl, didn’t gamble… All he did was practice swordplay. And more swordplay. And even more swordplay. And helping Knight-Captain Storm with his paperwork. They sighed. There was no hope for Knight-Captain Hell.

  34. epic:

    Come on guys, we are here to read Yu Wo works, no for some random games and jokes. I really want to read only her books, not some competitions or polls.

  35. Lalala:

    Hi, I seem to be the resident grammar police. . . . You said, “‘Are belong’ is also correct because ‘All the copyrights are belong to Yu Wo’.” but, “All the copyrights are belong to Yu Wo” is not correct either. It is a verb conjugation error, like saying “I am want food!” The two conjugated verbs next to each other are grammatically incorrect (this is an oversimplification, but the longer explanation is boring to the extreme). The corrected version would be “I want food!”, and “All the copyrights belong to Yu Wo” (you could also say “All the copyrights are in the state of belonging to Yu Wo” but really, you don’t need to go there. . . .)

  36. shiro:

    @15B
    LoL >< I can actually see them doing that to poor hell knight

  37. lucathia:

    I’m unsure if dahlys meant the “are belong” part as a joke or not. :3;;

  38. Baka Weiss:

    By the way… what about the Beauty Pageant Tournament? It’s pretty much stuck in the third double round for god knows how long.

  39. Coco Flower:

    @epic
    I love the competitions and jokes on this site, it makes reading the novels way more fun. This is the first translation site I’ve come across that has such a warm and fun atmosphere, rather than most other sites.

  40. RurouniAlchemist25:

    @15B
    No way… my little brother’s and my birthday is the 25th! :D We almost share a birthday with this epically awesome site?!?!? YES!!! XD

  41. Secrets...:

    Contest No: Judgement knight
    “We are glad to introduce the Judgement Knight! No matter what the overall general population say, you can’t deny that Sir Judgement Knight is definitely part of the sexy bishies of the Twelve Holy Knights! Smart, capable and definitely the strongest knight out of all of them. We all hope you may get to know him better! Anything you would like to say Mr. Judgement Knight?”
    “The God of Light does not tolerate his children dallying and making senseless contest to incite others irritation and embarrassment”
    “Hahaha….. Okay then…”
    Passerby A: “Wow, he was able to shut up the narrator…. And scare her..”

    Hm… I feel like doing one for Adair…

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